Washing away the old and bracing for the new.

I’m sure there are many people that 2013 was the best year of their lives.  To this blogger it was one of the worst I have been through in about 15 yrs.  That’s saying a lot, but as I had it pointed out to me it can’t be all bad. So prior to the start of a brand new year I thought it might be a good time to reflect on the things that were positive from 2013 and hopefully set up the right mentality for a positive and productive 2014.

1)      Repaired my hernia.  This was a HUGE win for me this year.  I had put that nagging injury off for 3yrs.  It cost me a good deal of fitness and limited me in many ways.  Because of this repair I will be primed for a solid return to my former self!

2)      Son played first season of basketball. Yes, I know this isn't necessarily huge, but in some ways it was.  He really enjoyed it and loved being part of the team. He even went so far as to have weekly extra practices with me and my father. Was very proud of him for the hard work.

3)      Got central air and heat!  This was a big victory on the renovating of my 1917 home.  It took a ton of work and creative thinking to install, but the results have been phenomenal!

4)      Officially committed to a relationship. Scary as hell, but banking on it being worth it long term. My divorce made me extremely gun shy about relationships along with how it would affect my relationship with my ex wife and telling my son about it.  Turns out it was better accepted by everyone than I would have anticipated.

5)      Knocked driving a Lamborghini, shooting a handgun, and trapeze from my bucket list. All of these were a great time and really fun activities. Driving an exotic sports car of that high end was like flying a jet on the road! Trapeze was a blast personally since as a former gymnast I rarely get opportunities to cut loose with all the safety equipment around! Doing the shooting range was fun because I just had no experience with that kind of weapon and I always feel it’s important to have knowledge and experience for any scenario.

As you can tell some of that is a struggle to find positive things about this year. That will be different this time next year! Now everyone is going to be jumping on New Year’s Resolutions, but I’ll save the next entry to cover how to set effective goals for the year and how to put a plan behind them. Big things are coming next year for anyone willing to step up and take them!

Pointing The Finger In The Right Direction

Back in July I wrote a Blog on Child Obesity and whether it should be considered Child Abuse? To my surprise it was well received, even from parents of overweight children. I say to my surprise because I laid out what I feel is the real issue with Child Obesity: Parents. Now as September has rolled in with Childhood Obesity Awareness Month a fitness chain (Anytime Fitness) has launched a campaign called C.O.A.K. (Coalition Of Angry Kids) to try and point the finger at the real issue: Parents. The premise of the marketing campaign is to show that kids want to be healthier, but are subject to their parent's lazy and unhealthy lifestyles. It features overweight children expressing their frustrations at getting the sole blame for their health and weight. All the while they are stuck in the drive-thru lane because Mom and Dad didn't wanted to cook dinner.

Here is a link to the video.
http://wn.com/Meet_The_Coalition_of_Angry_Kids_COAK

I think that this is an excellent campaign. I think finally shifting some of the focus off of the children and putting it on the parents will help not only the children, but motivate and pressure parents to adopt a healthier more active lifestyle. Not only that, but I'm hoping it will encourage parents to be more involved with their children. The T.V., PS3 and XBOX 360 are not babysitters. I'm not accusing parents of absenteeism as much as lack of participation. My son and I go to skate parks all the time. Almost every time we're there I see mom's and dad's alike just sitting off to the side with their phones or magazines while their child desperately tries to get their attention or get them to "play" too. Now before you go on with "I'm not getting on a skateboard and killing myself." Keep in mind that sometimes just getting up and moving helps. My Dad and I often just run up and down the ramps on foot with my son. It's not just the skate parks that I see this trend, but at the real parks too. Parents just sit off to the side on benches and wait for their child or children to be finished playing.

Far too often now parents are minimizing how much they have to do in about everything. I mean lets face it, sitting at a desk all day then picking the kids up and heading home to do a few things around the house, then top it off by going out for dinner isn't exactly an active lifestyle. The biggest issues kids are facing aren't the outside factors (fast food/advertisements/school lunches) it's the internal factors (pop tart breakfasts, or no breakfast/drive-thru dinner or take out.) that are keeping kids from having and learning healthy choices. Maybe instead of letting your child pick out a sugary cereal you could take them into the produce aisle and let them pick out a vegetable or fruit to try. Cooking with your children is an excellent way to not only keep you from going out to eat, but to interact and teach your child a healthy habit. I have a standing agreement with my son that for every new food he tries I will take him to the Dollar Tree store and he can pick out a $1 toy for it.

Maybe instead of September being Child Obesity Awareness Month it should be Family Activity Month? In all honesty shouldn't every month be an activity month? My challenge to you if you're a parent is to grab your kids and find something active to do on at least 3 different occasions this month (and Halloween doesn't count). I also would encourage you to have at least 5 "family" cooking meals. Whether this is dinner, breakfast on the weekends, or lunch on Sunday. Try and get out and run around and play. Be a kid for a little while. You might just realize how much you've missed the physical exertion.

So that's it puppets. I know this isn't my typical blog, but I'm just getting back to lining up subjects for your entertainment. The next time you see that pudgy kid at McDonalds instead of shaking your head at him, maybe look at the parents. Actually scratch that. You shouldn't be in Mcdonalds anyways. As always Dance!

Mr. J

How will your obituary read?

I have spent the week in a hospital room, and then a hospice room watching my Great Aunt slowly pass away from a stroke. I am to the point of acceptance of what happened, though it does little to ease my mind. I do not have the faith of an after life which comforted my Aunt, and now comforts the rest of my family. She felt she had lived a long and fulfilling life. She more then once said she felt her mother's arms wrapped around her while she laid in her bed. She knew this time was coming. Her last year was spent preparing everything for when this time would come. She invested the majority of her life to taking care of other people. So much so that even when she was in and out of consciousness she stressed about all the details. She wanted to make sure she wasn't a problem to any of her family. Which of course we had under control, and wasn't a problem to take care of her. This is not my first exposure to a slow death. It is however, my first time in dealing with it as an adult. When you're young and this sort of thing happens there is often confusion, as an adult there is more of an understanding even if the helplessness remains. There is often a different role to fill with those around you. Regardless what time of your life you start dealing with death, the selfishness of wanting to keep your loved ones around forever doesn't change.

Anytime you're dealing with death it's hard not to look at life. When I look back over the years that my Aunt and I spent together, I'm fortunate to not have many bad memories. I was always lucky in the fact that she rarely picked an issue with me. She used to get annoyed with me because I would often parent her about her diabetes. I was always harping on her about her food because I cared about keeping her around. She lived with us for awhile in High School, and it used to frustrate me and now it makes me laugh that she used to "hide" candies and stuff around the house. We would find Ho Ho's and candy bars all over the house. My family and I would just shake our heads about it. Honestly, I can only remember one real fight with her. I was 17 and her and my father had (in my opinion) ganged up on me about my lack of religion. Whereas this normally wouldn't have bothered me, it was the manner in which they portrayed me. They treated me as if I was ignorant and a lost soul. They pitied me, and I felt had questioned my intellect. It is the only time I can remember ever being that upset or hurt when it came to my Aunt. I left both of them at her house and ran almost the entire few miles back to my house. We never again discussed religion together.

My best memories of my Aunt are when I would visit up to Indiana from my home in Florida as a child. She would get together with me almost every Sunday I was up visiting. She would take me to Versailles and we would stop at Dairy Queen. She would get a cone and I would get a chili dog. We'd head over to Versailles State Park and hang out at a picnic table area and eat and talk for hours. Occasionally, she would drop me off at the pool for a couple hours. I always looked forward to those Sundays. I wish now that I would have let her know how much it meant to me that she took the time out to get to know her great nephew. I will remember her as a caring, loving woman that gave a lot of her time to taking care of other people till she needed to be taken care of. I'll remember how fat she made all her pets! How much she loved nature and music. I'll laugh when I think back to every time I drove her somewhere no matter how slow I drove she would hold the door like we were in a Dukes of Hazzard car chase. Or how she drove her mobilized chair with reckless abandon. She'd crash into her walls, and anything in her way including her obese little lap dog that couldn't get out of the way quick enough.

She will be missed by everyone from her sisters to her great great nephew. My son was lucky enough to have known her in his life. I can take comfort in the fact that before she passed every single one of us was there at one point or another to tell her goodbye and that we loved her. When it comes to death and loved ones this is rarely the case. She didn't die alone and we all know she was able to see how much all of us cared and were there for her in the end. So while I'm sad at her passing, I have to be happy that she got a final sendoff from everyone that loved her.

I look at my life and think what have I done yet? When I pass what will my friends and family remember? Have I represented the me that I think I am? While I am aware of how morbid of a thought this is, I want you to share it with me. So puppets, here is your homework. I want you to look at your life right now as is, and think or write down what you would want people to remember about you. Are you living that life now? What would you need to do to get to that life? See if it shakes anything up in your life. If you're sick of your rut, what about yourself could change that? Well, I hope you take this as deeply as I am, and if it can change anything in your life then I feel I'm doing what I should be. And for a change slow dance with a loved one tonight.


Mr. J

Child Obesity or Child Abuse?

*I understand this will be a sensitive subject and will most likely upset a portion of my readers. That being said, the time to start looking at this area has long since past and something has to change. All I ask of you as a fellow parent is that you read the whole thing before allowing your natural defensive nature to over ride what is being said*

Recently I was at home relaxing one night when I get a text from my cousin.

"Guess what my sis got to eat."

I'm not going to lie, my first reaction was to roll my eyes then exhale as I worried about what I was going to read. It was worse then I expected.

"A Big Mac Value Meal!"

It was then I thought I might explode!

I guess I should explain. The girl we're talking about is 10 years old and 106lb! I have sat back for years now and bit my tongue on my little cousin and her health. Now don't get me wrong. I know it's not HER fault. She's a child. She has no choices about the food she's given. I'm also sure if you asked her mom about her weight she would tell you she isn't that bad off. This is part of the problem. I read a study published last month on childhood obesity and the parents perceptions of their child's weight.

Here is the link to the article. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37838149/

Here is what was found in the study.

Most parents don't realize if their preschool-age child is overweight or obese, a new study suggests.

The results show 71 percent of participating parents with overweight or obese toddlers misperceived their child's weight, identifying it as either a healthy weight or lighter than healthy weight.

Did you catch that last part? LIGHTER THAN HEALTHY WEIGHT!!!! Compared to what? A baby calf? It went on to say they even had pictures of body types and asked the parents to circle the one closest to their child's.

20 percent of parents with overweight or obese kids actually chose an image that was smaller than the healthy weight image to indicate their own child's size.

That means 1 in 5 parents of obese children feel that their child is smaller than a normal weight child! This ties into my little cousin and her mom's misconceptions. The child is fat because of her PARENTS! It is THEIR fault! Their lack of responsibility, and neglect of their child's well being is the reason she is severely obese for her age. It is also why her health is in serious need of attention.

I'm sure some of you are going "what's big deal, she had a Big Mac Meal?" Let me put it in perspective for you. At 10 years old her DAILY calorie intake should be right around 1600 calories a day. Her Big Mac Meal eaten at almost 10pm at night was 1440 calories (60g of Fat and 95g of sugar!). That would be 90% of her DAILY calories in ONE meal! The study went on to show.

Obese children and adolescents are more likely to become obese as adults. For example, one study found that approximately 80% of children who were overweight at aged 10–15 years were obese adults at age 25 years.The study also found that if overweight begins before 8 years of age, obesity in adulthood is likely to be more severe.

This is very scary for my little cousin since she has been obese/overweight since about 5 years old. And she's not alone in her desperate state. This is a growing concern for our nation. It blows my mind how few athletic and fit kids you can find. I look at these overweight to obese kids and fast forward their lives 10 years and I see the same fat people I see circling the McDonald's drive thru by my club everyday. And herein lies the problem, we've come to accept fat. It's ok to be fat. God forbid we hold ourselves to healthy standards. Don't be pressured to fit the status quo and be thin. Eat that Big Mac meal and pretend only health nut freaks are thin. Blame your genetics, your job, do whatever it takes to convince yourself to take no responsibility for where YOUR health is. That's fine, but when it comes to your children this doesn't fly. They are KIDS. YOU are in charge. They eat what YOU feed them. They're as active as YOU make them.

The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:

1)Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation;

2)physical or psychological mistreatment of a child by its parents, guardians, or other adults.

3)the physical or emotional mistreatment of children

Looking at those definitions of child abuse, I have to believe that child obesity is a form of child abuse. The physical harm and health risks that are induced NOT-TO-MENTION the psychological damage imposed on that child warrant attention and possibly counseling and supervision.

Just because you aren't an alcoholic parent smacking your child around doesn't mean that you aren't abusing or neglecting your child. I'm not trying to say parents are maliciously and intentionally abusing their children, but look at the other end of the spectrum. If a child was malnourished, ignorance wouldn't save that parent from being considered negligent. So when you are enabling your child to develop terrible lifestyle habits you're failing to step up and take control of your child's health. By not laying down healthy choices and options for them, how is it really that much different? The biggest difference I can see is only in the perceived immediate harm. Physical abuse is less seen and considered more severe, but obesity is like diabetes, it is damaging and deadly. The reason it isn't thought of in the dangerous nature that it is stems mainly from the fact it's so rampant and widespread. The majority of the population is at minimum overweight, and I'm sure everyone of you know at least 5 people with Type II Diabetes. If your child is going to be diabetic by 15, or by 18 have at least 1-2 heart risk warning signs, how are you not abusing your child or failing as a parent to protect your child and their well being? Isn't that the job of a parent? To make sure that your child is endowed with the best opportunities for a healthy and successful adulthood. Or at least a traumatic free childhood? And yes being fat as a child or teenager is traumatic.

Studies have shown:

Psychosocial Risks

Some consequences of childhood and adolescent obesity are psychosocial. Obese children and adolescents are targets of early and systematic social discrimination. The psychological stress of social stigmatization can cause low self-esteem which, in turn, can hinder academic and social functioning, and persist into adulthood.

How does that not reach the definition of abuse? 3)the physical or emotional mistreatment of children

And if you're one of those parents thinking my kid will just grow out of it when they get to high school and grow taller think again! The study went on to address that issue as well.

"The concept that kids outgrow their weight at some point or another, may have been true maybe 10 or 15 years ago, but more and more we're seeing that once the kid falls into that category, it really tends to be predictive long term," she said. Modern-day tendencies toward less exercise and an overabundance of food might be the culprit behind this shift, she said.

This isn't about assigning blame. It's about realizing the damage that is being done and taking the responsibility to change it. I'm sure you love your children as much as I love my son. It's because I love my son so much that I want the best for him. That means as his parent it's my job to take charge and step up even if that means sacrificing some of my T.V. time, or getting up a little earlier so I can make him breakfast. As parents our lives took a back seat the minute our children were born. We're supposed to teach our children right from wrong, how to manage their money, treat friends and loved ones. So why would teaching them to take care of themselves not be towards the top of life's lessons?

I leave you with this to ponder. What was dinner and play time like when you were a child? I know for me it was go outside and play till I call you to eat, and we had to eat what was cooked for us or go hungry. I don't know what your childhood was like, but I'm sure it was something similar. So puppets hopefully I still have a parent reading base after this, so let's dance to that!


Finally just a little tid bit for you. Upon gathering information for this article I entered my little cousins information into the government food pyramid site, this is the warning that came up with it.

The weight you entered is higher than may be healthy for your age and height. Ask a health care provider about your weight. They may ask about the foods you eat, your level of physical activity, and your family history. They can also determine your rate of growth and check for other health problems.

Laying Down The Gauntlet: Your chance to rise up.

*Disclaimer* This blog will be riddled with and full of testosterone and pure alpha mentality. There will be harsh language and a kick you in your pants get a move on theme! Enjoy, embrace, and do something after reading it!


I realized while writing the goal setting series that it would drive home the point and motivate people to act now on their goals if they had a challenge to push them. I have spent many nights thinking of what great, ultimate challenge I could put forth for you all. I've decided that I can't want it for you. It will be up to you to read this and take action.

I, along with several of my friends had a realization two weeks ago. It was after we had competed in the Warrior Dash (www.warriordash.com) in Joliet, IL. I remembered something that I had forgotten about myself. I love the feeling of pure physical exertion and being challenged! Now don't get me wrong. I know I love competing, I just forgot how great it felt to do it! I wasn't the only one. There were a few of us that had been sitting in a holding pattern the last several months. None of us really had any specific goals outside of completing this race. We had signed up for it in February and basically all went into it with a "hey, let's just finish it and worry about next year" attitude. Boy, let me tell you how off base we were!

The feeling of conquering this course and finishing it alive and strong was incredible! Fire, mud, barbed wire, hills from hell 500 people in our heat alone! What an experience! And even though it was an individual thing, having a group of 7 do it really drove a sense of being a team into us. It lit a fire into almost every one of us since we've gotten back. People in our group are signing up to do fitness shows, 5k trail runs, making goals to see their bodies completely reshaped. We are all laying out new goals and possess a focus that has been missing from us for months! All because of a race that gave us a small glimpse deep down about ourselves when we're being physically and mentally tested. The gratification of looking around seeing everyone covered from head to toe (literally) in mud, looking worn out and beat down, all the while grinning ear to ear was euphoric. This is a race where you finish they give you a viking helmet, a free beer and you can get a huge turkey leg to eat with your mud covered hands! It was then I realized this is life! Not punching a time clock at the factory or going through the monotony of grocery shopping, or washing your laundry. It was a primal throwback to our childhood where you went playing in the woods and climbed things and came home scrapped and cut up. It was like a cold water wake up! I remember watching Fight Club and Brad Pitt's character is looking at the group as it's been growing and tells them what he sees.

Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

It's SO TRUE! What are we doing with our lives that means anything! If you were to die tomorrow (I know it's a morbid thought but stay with me) how would you feel about your life? What would you wish you'd have done? This is it right now your chance to earn your moment of Zen, the "you're effing right I did all that!" moment.

Tyler Durden: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis.

Who are you? Better yet who do you want to be? Are you over mediocrity yet? This could be the start of the rest of your life if you have the balls to do it. Ladies I'm not just talking to the men. No Y chromosome needed here to dig deep and live. If you've wanted to mountain climb in Colorado, or swim with sharks in California, or hell just once tell that person who keeps walking all over you to take a flying leap off a cliff, you're not their doormat anymore! Then start planning to do it. Write it down. Price it on a website, set your budget for it, get in their face and stand up! No one is holding you back but you.

Don't be defined by your job title, who your friends think you are, who YOU think you are, your role as a mother or father, husband or wife. Step up to the plate and take a giant swing at the fence! Are you sick of your rut, your stand still life enough to say "to hell with what everyone thinks?" Who cares if someone thinks skydiving is crazy and risky? That your investment into a race or show that would set you apart from the hindu cows that will never have the guts to do it, is a waste of money? Who cares! Bottom line comes down to this: you're born alone you sure as hell die alone, what are you going to have done in between?

The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile. ~Plato

Your homework puppets is to evaluate your goals and your life and figure out what the hell is going to come from your new found fire and energy! What have you done today to set yourself apart from the herd?

Well, I'm off to rent fight club and kill a bear with my bare hands! As always dance around a big bonfire with your friends!



Mr J

What The Heart Wants: Step 5 putting your heart into it!

The Law of Contrast states "There will always be people stronger, learner, faster, more talented and more genetically gifted than you, so compare yourself only to yourself not to others." Basically folks, the only way to be happy and satisfied is to look at yourself and only yourself.

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Theodore Roosevelt

I'm starting with this because I want you mentally prepared for this final step in setting your goals. This is the step that will decide how good your chances for success really are. Steps 2, 3, and 4 were follow the blueprint, stereo instructions. They are important to the whole process and they are necessary, but Step 5 is the heart of it all, literally. This step will be the one that really personalizes everything for you up to this point. Do not proceed lightly.

Nietzsche, " If you have a strong enough WHY you can bear almost any HOW."

When I was 13 years old I was told about the All Sports Award that my Jr High gave out. It was given out at the end of the year to all 8th grade students who had 6 athletic letters. I was told how difficult it was to obtain this prestigious award, having to letter 6 times in just 2 short years. It was then I knew I HAD to have it! I had an uphill battle entering 8th grade with only 2 letters (CC, and Track) to my credit. This meant that if I wanted this exclusive award not only did I HAVE to make the basketball team that year (after being cut the year before), but I would also have to make the wrestling team!

I had spent the whole summer learning more about basketball and practicing so I could make the team. I made the B team. While its not very impressive it kept me in the hunt for the All Sports Award. Next up wrestling! It was AWFUL guys. I mean I HATED wrestling! I didn't enjoy the practices, my teammates, or the sport itself, but it was a NECESSARY obstacle to endure, and overcome if I wanted that award. I ended up wrestling enough matches to earn my letter (went 3-0!). Then track season came and went and it was finally end of year awards! I can tell you of all the accomplishments athletically that I have achieved before that day and even after, NONE of them have filled me with the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment that getting that trophy did! I still have it. I have never put up my high school and college MVP's, my school record awards (high school and college), or my All-American award, none of it. But my All Sports Trophy is always there. It meant so much to me because I had WANTED it so badly, and I had to overcome and endure a lot to get it. Earning that trophy was the driving force of my whole 8th grade year.

The point of that stroll down memory lane was to hopefully make all of you think back to something in your past that you too really, really wanted. Then think of all you had to do or better yet what you had to overcome to get it. How did you feel when you did? Tying emotion to your goals is the ONLY way to make them happen. Without your emotion involved your goals just don't hold the same importance. Bob Proctor in his Goal Achiever program says, "The moment you get emotionally involved with your goal, it instantly and automatically begins to move into physical form."

Think right now of what you want goal wise. Now, answer this: 1) what's important to you about reaching your goal? 2) WHY is it important? The reason why you want your goal is the PURPOSE of the goal!

When I sit down with clients I can almost always tell who is going to succeed by the way they talk to me about what they want. Sure everyone says "I want to look better, feel better, and be healthier." Those are empty, surface answers that they've been trained to say. It's when I can get them to tell me their why's that I can tell how well they will do. I have had a near 400lb, burly, tattooed man cry when he told me he wanted to lose weight because he was tired of being the fat guy. I had one woman tell me she wasn't going to quit until she could have sex with the lights on! Everyone has a different reason for WHY they want something. It's not just finding that why, but understanding the reason it's important to you. That will keep you on the path to making it happen.

As one client put it (after losing 153lbs) "I can trace all that I've done in the last two years (weight loss, career, and lifestyle) back to one single moment. It was stepping on a scale and seeing 368lb! The switch just flipped. I said this is ENOUGH." He immediately started doing whatever it took to start moving towards a new body and ultimately a new life.

Another client told me, "After talking with you, I realized I, ME, had the power to change who I was inside and out. I think that was the selling point. Realizing the ball was in my court and I could go as far as I wanted. I was my only road block."

Both people have not only accomplished their initial goals, but have totally surpassed what they thought was possible! The reason they were so successful was because they were attached EMOTIONALLY to their goals! It was tied to their cores. That slice of pizza, the skipping a workout, or sleeping in late on the weekends didn't matter when compared to what was motivating them. They each had their own All Sports Trophy they were chasing. No one can ever take their success away from them.


So where I could sit here and give you lollipops and sunshine all day. I've decided to go with a more direct approach and put the responsibility on YOU. The ONLY person in this whole process that is of any importance. No matter how much I want it for you, nothing will happen until YOU want it for YOU. Your final homework assignment will be to take your BEST BODY goals, your time line, and all your short term goals, and REWRITE them ALL with as much emotion in them as possible. Remember the deeper and more personal you make it, the stronger your chances of attaining them will be.

I want you to write your Daily, Weekly, and 90 day goals down on at least 3 index cards. I want you to put one by your bed, one on your bathroom mirror, and keep the last one in your pocket or purse. Then I want you to read them out loud to yourself at least first thing in the morning and right before bed for a minimum of 21 days STRAIGHT. It may seem ridiculous, but it is so important for your subconscious and for you to hear them and remember them. You do anything for 21 days straight and it becomes a habit. Not only that guys, but if you read them and see them everyday you will be accountable to them. How are you going to eat a quarter pounder with cheese and then read about that size 4 you want to be in?

If you really want to maximize your results, write affirmations of them. It's very important that you write them in PRESENT tense! Write them as if they have already happened. Example: I am so happy I'm wearing my size _____ shorts! Read these every chance you get! Your subconscious only operates in the now. If you put your affirmations as future tense they will stay exactly there, IN THE FUTURE. We are dealing in the NOW.

One more thing! I want you to tell as many people about your goals as possible, mainly your 90 day goal. This will make you so accountable you don't even know! How will you face that coworker, your spouse, or your friends when they ask you how you're coming along with your goals? I guarantee it will keep you going to the gym and eating better. When other people know your goals you can't keep them secret. You have to be accountable for them. They don't need to know your WHY's, they just need what your goals are. If no one knows you want to lose 25lbs then no one will be any wiser if you don't. You will be giving yourself wiggle room to fall short all over the place!

I hope that through this whole 5 step process you have actually taken the time to assess yourself. I know if you have then you've come to a deeper realization about who you are now and who you want to be. I am also hoping you take these steps and utilize them as the blueprints to an improved you that they can be. These steps aren't just for your fitness goals either. They can be applied to any goals in your life! Stay tuned for my personal challenge to all of you (including myself) that I will be posting next week! I appreciate all the time that you have invested to this learning process and thank you for following along.

I leave you with this.

Now that it's all over, what did you really do yesterday that's worth mentioning? Coleman Cox

and as always till next time, DANCE!

Mr. J

Eating an Elephant One Bite At A Time: Step 4 Short term goals

Parkinson's Law states "A task takes as long as there is time to do it." Or basically, "Work always expands to fill the time allowed."

Without the pressure of a deadline you will justify missing workouts, and cheating on your diet. You'll tell yourself you have plenty of time. Which is exactly why you need short term deadlines to motivate you. This is what Step 4 is for. With the pressure of a deadline in front of you, you'll know you can't miss workouts or scarf that pizza!

You've set your BEST BODY goal and you've set your time line, now it's time to lay out the check points on the road map to your destination! You will need these checkpoints to keep you motivated, focused, and most importantly, on track. I'm sure that for some of you after Step 3 you are a little discouraged, intimidated and annoyed that your best body is going to take longer then you wanted. DON'T BE! This is a JOURNEY! It is not just a physical one, but also a mental one. You are going to be overhauling a lifetime of bad habits. Hopefully, if you have learned one thing so far it's that this is NOT a quick fix, but a LIFESTYLE change. This is the step that will make your journey a lot less daunting, and more manageable. If you are only looking at the "big picture" it can be unsettling to realize how much farther you have to go. This step is designed to alleviate the stress of your transformation.

12 MONTH GOAL
For some of you your 12 month goal will be the same as your ultimate goal (BEST BODY). For some of you it will be close to the last check point in your journey. If your goal is to lose over 100lbs that is going to take at least 12 months. Don't even attempt to do it faster (or expect it to happen faster.) The 12 month goal point should be based off your calculations of where you should be after doing the homework of Step 3. If it's not done, what are you waiting for? Go back and finish it. This goal point for a few of you will be a maintenance point. I know a year is a long ways away, but we're working backwards from farthest to shortest to maximize your results!

90 DAY GOAL
This is probably the MOST important of your short term goals. It's the best time frame to motivate you. It's short enough that it's tangible (vs. a year from now), but long enough that big changes can happen. As you learned in Step 3 you can make a lot happen in this time frame. To recap (if you weren't paying attention in Step 3) in 90 days you could lose up to 6% body fat and 12-24lbs! That would definitely throw some gasoline on your fire! Most people never even give themselves this much time to succeed. It usually is 2-4 weeks and then they haven't gotten the results desired so then its Quitsville! How sad that they never gave themselves a real chance to change and see results. This a very important goal point. So please take the time to really think about what you can accomplish over 90 days. This will come into play heavily at the end of the next and final step. So if you didn't get that there might be a final project at the end of all of this I'm telling you now you will want to have all the steps completed when we wrap up with Step 5.

YOUR WEEKLY GOAL
There are several reasons why having weekly goals is important. For starters you will be able to have immediate feedback on a weekly basis on if you are doing the right things. You will also be able to adjust quickly if you are not producing the results you want. This also means if you are getting good results you keep doing what you've been doing. Setting your weekly goal is very simple. When you look at your 90 day goal take the totals for those 3 months and divide them out by 12. This will be how much weight and body fat you will need to lose weekly. Having weekly goals will also keep you getting in the gym and eating right. It is a short time line. In 7 days you do not have time to miss a workout, or cheat on meals. It will reflect on your weekly weigh ins, measurements, and body fat tests. It will be the 2nd most effective point of focus for you. Which leads me to the most effect short term goal to staying on track!


YOUR DAILY GOALS
In order to stay on track to your weekly, 90 day, 12 month, and your BEST BODY goals it all starts with what you do EVERY day! That is why your daily goals (which will become your daily habits) are the foundation of all that we've talked about. You need to have daily habits that will keep you on track. I realize that your 12 month goal and even your 90 day goal can see very far off and seem like a whole lot of work ahead. Your daily goals are the ones that will keep you the most focused on the here and now. It's said that 99% of our daily actions are habit. This is where you should write out what daily habits you want. If you want to get up early, prep your food for the day, or make sure you get that cardio session in this is where it all starts. Write these things down. Trust me it helps. I tell my clients all the time to look at today. I often advise people to be in the moment. If you're at lunch with friends, before you stick that fork of food in your mouth ask yourself, is this hurting me or helping me right now? You will stay way more in tune to your goals this way. If you look at eating clean as giving up cake forever then you will really, really want cake NOW. But if you were to look at it in the way of your daily goals, you only have to eat clean today. It makes a difference if in your head you can still see the possibility of that piece of cake in the future. If you make a to-do list of daily things to accomplish it will ensure that you reach your weekly, 90 day, and 12 month goals.

Your homework (if it isn't obvious yet) is to write down on paper: Your BEST BODY, 12 month, 90 day, weekly, and daily goals. Get it on paper, or an index card, just make sure it is down, it's readable, and real. Step 5 will be the final piece of the puzzle. I promise you after you read Step 5 and apply it to the other steps you have completed you will NOT fail to reach your goals! Be prepared to look deep and honestly into yourself. Step 5 will be the most personal part of all the steps. No one will be able to answer or fill in the blanks for you in the next step. I will be posting Step 5 no later then Tuesday! So puppets till then as always DANCE!


Mr. J