I have spent the week in a hospital room, and then a hospice room watching my Great Aunt slowly pass away from a stroke. I am to the point of acceptance of what happened, though it does little to ease my mind. I do not have the faith of an after life which comforted my Aunt, and now comforts the rest of my family. She felt she had lived a long and fulfilling life. She more then once said she felt her mother's arms wrapped around her while she laid in her bed. She knew this time was coming. Her last year was spent preparing everything for when this time would come. She invested the majority of her life to taking care of other people. So much so that even when she was in and out of consciousness she stressed about all the details. She wanted to make sure she wasn't a problem to any of her family. Which of course we had under control, and wasn't a problem to take care of her. This is not my first exposure to a slow death. It is however, my first time in dealing with it as an adult. When you're young and this sort of thing happens there is often confusion, as an adult there is more of an understanding even if the helplessness remains. There is often a different role to fill with those around you. Regardless what time of your life you start dealing with death, the selfishness of wanting to keep your loved ones around forever doesn't change.
Anytime you're dealing with death it's hard not to look at life. When I look back over the years that my Aunt and I spent together, I'm fortunate to not have many bad memories. I was always lucky in the fact that she rarely picked an issue with me. She used to get annoyed with me because I would often parent her about her diabetes. I was always harping on her about her food because I cared about keeping her around. She lived with us for awhile in High School, and it used to frustrate me and now it makes me laugh that she used to "hide" candies and stuff around the house. We would find Ho Ho's and candy bars all over the house. My family and I would just shake our heads about it. Honestly, I can only remember one real fight with her. I was 17 and her and my father had (in my opinion) ganged up on me about my lack of religion. Whereas this normally wouldn't have bothered me, it was the manner in which they portrayed me. They treated me as if I was ignorant and a lost soul. They pitied me, and I felt had questioned my intellect. It is the only time I can remember ever being that upset or hurt when it came to my Aunt. I left both of them at her house and ran almost the entire few miles back to my house. We never again discussed religion together.
My best memories of my Aunt are when I would visit up to Indiana from my home in Florida as a child. She would get together with me almost every Sunday I was up visiting. She would take me to Versailles and we would stop at Dairy Queen. She would get a cone and I would get a chili dog. We'd head over to Versailles State Park and hang out at a picnic table area and eat and talk for hours. Occasionally, she would drop me off at the pool for a couple hours. I always looked forward to those Sundays. I wish now that I would have let her know how much it meant to me that she took the time out to get to know her great nephew. I will remember her as a caring, loving woman that gave a lot of her time to taking care of other people till she needed to be taken care of. I'll remember how fat she made all her pets! How much she loved nature and music. I'll laugh when I think back to every time I drove her somewhere no matter how slow I drove she would hold the door like we were in a Dukes of Hazzard car chase. Or how she drove her mobilized chair with reckless abandon. She'd crash into her walls, and anything in her way including her obese little lap dog that couldn't get out of the way quick enough.
She will be missed by everyone from her sisters to her great great nephew. My son was lucky enough to have known her in his life. I can take comfort in the fact that before she passed every single one of us was there at one point or another to tell her goodbye and that we loved her. When it comes to death and loved ones this is rarely the case. She didn't die alone and we all know she was able to see how much all of us cared and were there for her in the end. So while I'm sad at her passing, I have to be happy that she got a final sendoff from everyone that loved her.
I look at my life and think what have I done yet? When I pass what will my friends and family remember? Have I represented the me that I think I am? While I am aware of how morbid of a thought this is, I want you to share it with me. So puppets, here is your homework. I want you to look at your life right now as is, and think or write down what you would want people to remember about you. Are you living that life now? What would you need to do to get to that life? See if it shakes anything up in your life. If you're sick of your rut, what about yourself could change that? Well, I hope you take this as deeply as I am, and if it can change anything in your life then I feel I'm doing what I should be. And for a change slow dance with a loved one tonight.
Mr. J
Monday, July 12, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Child Obesity or Child Abuse?
*I understand this will be a sensitive subject and will most likely upset a portion of my readers. That being said, the time to start looking at this area has long since past and something has to change. All I ask of you as a fellow parent is that you read the whole thing before allowing your natural defensive nature to over ride what is being said*
Recently I was at home relaxing one night when I get a text from my cousin.
"Guess what my sis got to eat."
I'm not going to lie, my first reaction was to roll my eyes then exhale as I worried about what I was going to read. It was worse then I expected.
"A Big Mac Value Meal!"
It was then I thought I might explode!
I guess I should explain. The girl we're talking about is 10 years old and 106lb! I have sat back for years now and bit my tongue on my little cousin and her health. Now don't get me wrong. I know it's not HER fault. She's a child. She has no choices about the food she's given. I'm also sure if you asked her mom about her weight she would tell you she isn't that bad off. This is part of the problem. I read a study published last month on childhood obesity and the parents perceptions of their child's weight.
Here is the link to the article. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37838149/
Here is what was found in the study.
Most parents don't realize if their preschool-age child is overweight or obese, a new study suggests.
The results show 71 percent of participating parents with overweight or obese toddlers misperceived their child's weight, identifying it as either a healthy weight or lighter than healthy weight.
Did you catch that last part? LIGHTER THAN HEALTHY WEIGHT!!!! Compared to what? A baby calf? It went on to say they even had pictures of body types and asked the parents to circle the one closest to their child's.
20 percent of parents with overweight or obese kids actually chose an image that was smaller than the healthy weight image to indicate their own child's size.
That means 1 in 5 parents of obese children feel that their child is smaller than a normal weight child! This ties into my little cousin and her mom's misconceptions. The child is fat because of her PARENTS! It is THEIR fault! Their lack of responsibility, and neglect of their child's well being is the reason she is severely obese for her age. It is also why her health is in serious need of attention.
I'm sure some of you are going "what's big deal, she had a Big Mac Meal?" Let me put it in perspective for you. At 10 years old her DAILY calorie intake should be right around 1600 calories a day. Her Big Mac Meal eaten at almost 10pm at night was 1440 calories (60g of Fat and 95g of sugar!). That would be 90% of her DAILY calories in ONE meal! The study went on to show.
Obese children and adolescents are more likely to become obese as adults. For example, one study found that approximately 80% of children who were overweight at aged 10–15 years were obese adults at age 25 years.The study also found that if overweight begins before 8 years of age, obesity in adulthood is likely to be more severe.
This is very scary for my little cousin since she has been obese/overweight since about 5 years old. And she's not alone in her desperate state. This is a growing concern for our nation. It blows my mind how few athletic and fit kids you can find. I look at these overweight to obese kids and fast forward their lives 10 years and I see the same fat people I see circling the McDonald's drive thru by my club everyday. And herein lies the problem, we've come to accept fat. It's ok to be fat. God forbid we hold ourselves to healthy standards. Don't be pressured to fit the status quo and be thin. Eat that Big Mac meal and pretend only health nut freaks are thin. Blame your genetics, your job, do whatever it takes to convince yourself to take no responsibility for where YOUR health is. That's fine, but when it comes to your children this doesn't fly. They are KIDS. YOU are in charge. They eat what YOU feed them. They're as active as YOU make them.
The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:
1)Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation;
2)physical or psychological mistreatment of a child by its parents, guardians, or other adults.
3)the physical or emotional mistreatment of children
Looking at those definitions of child abuse, I have to believe that child obesity is a form of child abuse. The physical harm and health risks that are induced NOT-TO-MENTION the psychological damage imposed on that child warrant attention and possibly counseling and supervision.
Just because you aren't an alcoholic parent smacking your child around doesn't mean that you aren't abusing or neglecting your child. I'm not trying to say parents are maliciously and intentionally abusing their children, but look at the other end of the spectrum. If a child was malnourished, ignorance wouldn't save that parent from being considered negligent. So when you are enabling your child to develop terrible lifestyle habits you're failing to step up and take control of your child's health. By not laying down healthy choices and options for them, how is it really that much different? The biggest difference I can see is only in the perceived immediate harm. Physical abuse is less seen and considered more severe, but obesity is like diabetes, it is damaging and deadly. The reason it isn't thought of in the dangerous nature that it is stems mainly from the fact it's so rampant and widespread. The majority of the population is at minimum overweight, and I'm sure everyone of you know at least 5 people with Type II Diabetes. If your child is going to be diabetic by 15, or by 18 have at least 1-2 heart risk warning signs, how are you not abusing your child or failing as a parent to protect your child and their well being? Isn't that the job of a parent? To make sure that your child is endowed with the best opportunities for a healthy and successful adulthood. Or at least a traumatic free childhood? And yes being fat as a child or teenager is traumatic.
Studies have shown:
Psychosocial Risks
Some consequences of childhood and adolescent obesity are psychosocial. Obese children and adolescents are targets of early and systematic social discrimination. The psychological stress of social stigmatization can cause low self-esteem which, in turn, can hinder academic and social functioning, and persist into adulthood.
How does that not reach the definition of abuse? 3)the physical or emotional mistreatment of children
And if you're one of those parents thinking my kid will just grow out of it when they get to high school and grow taller think again! The study went on to address that issue as well.
"The concept that kids outgrow their weight at some point or another, may have been true maybe 10 or 15 years ago, but more and more we're seeing that once the kid falls into that category, it really tends to be predictive long term," she said. Modern-day tendencies toward less exercise and an overabundance of food might be the culprit behind this shift, she said.
This isn't about assigning blame. It's about realizing the damage that is being done and taking the responsibility to change it. I'm sure you love your children as much as I love my son. It's because I love my son so much that I want the best for him. That means as his parent it's my job to take charge and step up even if that means sacrificing some of my T.V. time, or getting up a little earlier so I can make him breakfast. As parents our lives took a back seat the minute our children were born. We're supposed to teach our children right from wrong, how to manage their money, treat friends and loved ones. So why would teaching them to take care of themselves not be towards the top of life's lessons?
I leave you with this to ponder. What was dinner and play time like when you were a child? I know for me it was go outside and play till I call you to eat, and we had to eat what was cooked for us or go hungry. I don't know what your childhood was like, but I'm sure it was something similar. So puppets hopefully I still have a parent reading base after this, so let's dance to that!
Finally just a little tid bit for you. Upon gathering information for this article I entered my little cousins information into the government food pyramid site, this is the warning that came up with it.
The weight you entered is higher than may be healthy for your age and height. Ask a health care provider about your weight. They may ask about the foods you eat, your level of physical activity, and your family history. They can also determine your rate of growth and check for other health problems.
Recently I was at home relaxing one night when I get a text from my cousin.
"Guess what my sis got to eat."
I'm not going to lie, my first reaction was to roll my eyes then exhale as I worried about what I was going to read. It was worse then I expected.
"A Big Mac Value Meal!"
It was then I thought I might explode!
I guess I should explain. The girl we're talking about is 10 years old and 106lb! I have sat back for years now and bit my tongue on my little cousin and her health. Now don't get me wrong. I know it's not HER fault. She's a child. She has no choices about the food she's given. I'm also sure if you asked her mom about her weight she would tell you she isn't that bad off. This is part of the problem. I read a study published last month on childhood obesity and the parents perceptions of their child's weight.
Here is the link to the article. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37838149/
Here is what was found in the study.
Most parents don't realize if their preschool-age child is overweight or obese, a new study suggests.
The results show 71 percent of participating parents with overweight or obese toddlers misperceived their child's weight, identifying it as either a healthy weight or lighter than healthy weight.
Did you catch that last part? LIGHTER THAN HEALTHY WEIGHT!!!! Compared to what? A baby calf? It went on to say they even had pictures of body types and asked the parents to circle the one closest to their child's.
20 percent of parents with overweight or obese kids actually chose an image that was smaller than the healthy weight image to indicate their own child's size.
That means 1 in 5 parents of obese children feel that their child is smaller than a normal weight child! This ties into my little cousin and her mom's misconceptions. The child is fat because of her PARENTS! It is THEIR fault! Their lack of responsibility, and neglect of their child's well being is the reason she is severely obese for her age. It is also why her health is in serious need of attention.
I'm sure some of you are going "what's big deal, she had a Big Mac Meal?" Let me put it in perspective for you. At 10 years old her DAILY calorie intake should be right around 1600 calories a day. Her Big Mac Meal eaten at almost 10pm at night was 1440 calories (60g of Fat and 95g of sugar!). That would be 90% of her DAILY calories in ONE meal! The study went on to show.
Obese children and adolescents are more likely to become obese as adults. For example, one study found that approximately 80% of children who were overweight at aged 10–15 years were obese adults at age 25 years.The study also found that if overweight begins before 8 years of age, obesity in adulthood is likely to be more severe.
This is very scary for my little cousin since she has been obese/overweight since about 5 years old. And she's not alone in her desperate state. This is a growing concern for our nation. It blows my mind how few athletic and fit kids you can find. I look at these overweight to obese kids and fast forward their lives 10 years and I see the same fat people I see circling the McDonald's drive thru by my club everyday. And herein lies the problem, we've come to accept fat. It's ok to be fat. God forbid we hold ourselves to healthy standards. Don't be pressured to fit the status quo and be thin. Eat that Big Mac meal and pretend only health nut freaks are thin. Blame your genetics, your job, do whatever it takes to convince yourself to take no responsibility for where YOUR health is. That's fine, but when it comes to your children this doesn't fly. They are KIDS. YOU are in charge. They eat what YOU feed them. They're as active as YOU make them.
The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:
1)Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation;
2)physical or psychological mistreatment of a child by its parents, guardians, or other adults.
3)the physical or emotional mistreatment of children
Looking at those definitions of child abuse, I have to believe that child obesity is a form of child abuse. The physical harm and health risks that are induced NOT-TO-MENTION the psychological damage imposed on that child warrant attention and possibly counseling and supervision.
Just because you aren't an alcoholic parent smacking your child around doesn't mean that you aren't abusing or neglecting your child. I'm not trying to say parents are maliciously and intentionally abusing their children, but look at the other end of the spectrum. If a child was malnourished, ignorance wouldn't save that parent from being considered negligent. So when you are enabling your child to develop terrible lifestyle habits you're failing to step up and take control of your child's health. By not laying down healthy choices and options for them, how is it really that much different? The biggest difference I can see is only in the perceived immediate harm. Physical abuse is less seen and considered more severe, but obesity is like diabetes, it is damaging and deadly. The reason it isn't thought of in the dangerous nature that it is stems mainly from the fact it's so rampant and widespread. The majority of the population is at minimum overweight, and I'm sure everyone of you know at least 5 people with Type II Diabetes. If your child is going to be diabetic by 15, or by 18 have at least 1-2 heart risk warning signs, how are you not abusing your child or failing as a parent to protect your child and their well being? Isn't that the job of a parent? To make sure that your child is endowed with the best opportunities for a healthy and successful adulthood. Or at least a traumatic free childhood? And yes being fat as a child or teenager is traumatic.
Studies have shown:
Psychosocial Risks
Some consequences of childhood and adolescent obesity are psychosocial. Obese children and adolescents are targets of early and systematic social discrimination. The psychological stress of social stigmatization can cause low self-esteem which, in turn, can hinder academic and social functioning, and persist into adulthood.
How does that not reach the definition of abuse? 3)the physical or emotional mistreatment of children
And if you're one of those parents thinking my kid will just grow out of it when they get to high school and grow taller think again! The study went on to address that issue as well.
"The concept that kids outgrow their weight at some point or another, may have been true maybe 10 or 15 years ago, but more and more we're seeing that once the kid falls into that category, it really tends to be predictive long term," she said. Modern-day tendencies toward less exercise and an overabundance of food might be the culprit behind this shift, she said.
This isn't about assigning blame. It's about realizing the damage that is being done and taking the responsibility to change it. I'm sure you love your children as much as I love my son. It's because I love my son so much that I want the best for him. That means as his parent it's my job to take charge and step up even if that means sacrificing some of my T.V. time, or getting up a little earlier so I can make him breakfast. As parents our lives took a back seat the minute our children were born. We're supposed to teach our children right from wrong, how to manage their money, treat friends and loved ones. So why would teaching them to take care of themselves not be towards the top of life's lessons?
I leave you with this to ponder. What was dinner and play time like when you were a child? I know for me it was go outside and play till I call you to eat, and we had to eat what was cooked for us or go hungry. I don't know what your childhood was like, but I'm sure it was something similar. So puppets hopefully I still have a parent reading base after this, so let's dance to that!
Finally just a little tid bit for you. Upon gathering information for this article I entered my little cousins information into the government food pyramid site, this is the warning that came up with it.
The weight you entered is higher than may be healthy for your age and height. Ask a health care provider about your weight. They may ask about the foods you eat, your level of physical activity, and your family history. They can also determine your rate of growth and check for other health problems.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)