I have been sitting here debating on what to bring to your dinner table discussion next. Then after talking to one of my clients she suggested I write about workout intensity. This came about because apparently she was in her cake class last week when a discussion broke out about working out. She went on to explain that it was a very irritating and frustrating discussion for her (by-the-way this is a MASSIVE understatement.) She said listening to her classmates talk about what they did for workouts blew her mind. Mainly because she was amazed at how misinformed they were about exercise and nutrition. She couldn't believe how little they did in their workouts while thinking they worked hard. She has pointed out on many occasions how much it bothers her when she sees people doing so little in their workouts at our club. When she is in training sessions with me she will constantly look around and shake her head when she sees it happening. Especially one guy in particular. He usually does one set of bench press then sits on the edge of the bench for about 5 minutes before doing another set. In fact, she despises his sloth like workouts so much she requested a different workout time for fear she might just kill him for occupying a piece of equipment for 40 min while wasting his time and keeping others from using it.
Whereas I can relate to her frustration with people like that in the club, I find it to be more of a confirmation that people still don't get it. My client has a legitimate point here in regards to people's ignorance with exercise. She also has first hand knowledge of what it is like to be in their shoes. When she started training with me she shared many of the same ideas on exercise as the people frustrating her now. It has been a hard fought battle for her to not continually get wrapped up in media hype or diet and exercise frenzies. I've personally watched her wade through trial and error and even denial until finally acceptance. In fact, she wanted me to stress the fact that she realizes how much misinformation she bought into and how misguided she was at that point. I want to point out what a BAMF she has become now though. She has gone from an out of shape mother of three to a lean, fit, exercise machine inside of 10 months. She just completed a Mini this spring, and has the warrior dash on her plate next month. So as a trainer/educator it has been really exciting to see such a transformation! I'm very proud of the hard work she continues to do to improve herself.
Getting results is one of the biggest obstacles for most people when it comes to working out. They have great intentions, big goals and lots of steam behind them when they start. Then they get in the club and hop on an elliptical or any other piece of cardio equipment and just go for 30min to and hour then leave feeling they really worked out. Some people become as I like to call them "cardio kings and queens". You've seen these people. They get in the club and spend 30 min on the treadmill, then they get on the elliptical and do another 30 min, then they move on to whatever piece of cardio equipment is left and do another 30 min! Whereas they think they are doing a great workout and really putting in an effort, they are only half right. I can't tell you how many cell phone walkers I see on a daily basis. I mean how intense is your cardio workout if you're able to chit chat on your cell while you're doing it? Sadly, after a few weeks to a few months of doing this with minimal to no results they quit.
This also goes for the "weight lifter" that is doing one set then talking for 5 minutes with some other "lifter" before doing another set. Where's the intensity? Where's the my heart might explode, I feel put through the ringer beat up intensity? Now I know that may scare some of you off. You're probably thinking "my god that sounds awful". Trust me, it is awful to some degree. It is also very rewarding in that fact that you really worked hard and KNOW it. I love when someone tells me how much a workout sucked, but that they really feel good they did it. Exercise is not easy. If it was you'd see a lot more fitness model looking people walking around, and a lot less stay puft marshmallow men waddling around. I realize that may be a bit harsh, but take a look around the next time you're sitting ANYWHERE, and count how many fit people are in the room. I bet you'll only need one hand.
Exercise doesn't have to be miserable or boring. I have a great time in my workouts. I always do my best to avoid routine by doing new and challenging combination of exercises. I'm also about efficiency. I don't spend 2 hours working out, and you don't need to either. My workouts general last anywhere from 15-30 minutes MAX. I try to push the intensity in my workouts so that my heart rate is elevated the whole time. I only rest when I ABSOLUTELY have to. By training like this I benefit in two different ways. One: I push my muscular endurance and increase my cardiovascular capacity. This means I don't have to do much IF any additional cardio work. Two: My workout time investment is low. Do you realize that three 30 minute workouts a week is less then 1% of your total week? That means over 99% of the time you're doing something that isn't working out.
I'm not going to sell you on the 8 min workout or the 20 min Pilates tape. The 30 min workouts I'm talking about are INTENSE. The reason those tapes and programs exist is primarily because as instantaneous, lazy Americans we want something that isn't going to be hard and require lifelong committment. No ab lounge will ever get you 6 pack abs. The perfect pushup/chinup, thigh master, gazelle, bowflex, reebok shoe are nothing but gimmicks designed to take advantage of our gimmicky society. I hate to tell you, but there is no such thing as quick, painless, and easy when it comes to getting and staying fit. Getting fit and staying fit comes from hard work, dedication and consistency. Sadly these are traits that are fast disappearing in society today.
When my workout partner and I enter the gym our conversation time is over. It's not a social gathering. We talk in the car or on the run to the club and we chat after. We are there to workout. Oh, we might say the occasional "this sucks" to each other joking around. But seriously, by the time we're done we have usually accomplished more in our 20 minute workout then that guy talking on his cell will accomplish in his entire 2hr workout/conversation.
Now don't get me wrong I understand that not everyone is an athlete. I also know a lot of you are just getting started with an exercise program. My suggestion to you would be to train to your experience and fitness level, but do it at a high intensity level. An example of this would be someone that isn't familiar with free weights, but feels comfortable with machines. I would advise that person to go into their club and pick 3-5 of those machines and do as many rounds as they can complete in say a 20 minute time frame resting only when they have to. This would be a very safe and easy technique workout for a beginner. The thing that kicks it up a notch is the fact that even though they are doing simple exercises the lack of rest time increases the difficulty and the effectiveness of the workout.
I'll leave you with a quote from one of the actors from the movie 300 (haven't seen it? Go rent it!). Craig Ballantyne was hired to come up with a training program to whip the actors into the Spartan warriors they would play. He was hired because of his unique and effective training motto: Train like your life depends on it! Michael Fassbender was interviewed about the intense and challenging workouts the actors were being put through to get ready for their roles. When asked how he felt about it he responded, "if your workout doesn't scare you a little bit, maybe you aren't training hard enough." I couldn't have said it better myself
I challenge my readers to step up your workouts by pushing yourself to what you think is your limit, then do 5 more!
For a fun, intense workout you can do the W.O.D in my club or go online to crossfit.com and try one of their workouts of the day. Try this for a week and see how much you change and grow, while best of all getting results! Now dance puppets!!
Mr. J
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
It's not my fault part 2
This is the 2nd part of my Personal Accountability In Society blog. This section will be more focused on personal relationships and career choices. The main emphasis will be on how little responsibility we take for our decisions and the paths we have chosen for ourselves.
Before I get started the first thing I would like to share with you is an excerpt from a book called How To Win Friends And Influence People. If you've never read it, go to half price books or get online and purchase it. It is a phenomenal book that will help change your perspective on life. Now the reason I am putting this in my blog is to show you that even with as self absorbed and self involved we are in society now, accountability has ALWAYS been an issue no matter what generation. It just seems to be a growing epidemic today as more people are facebooking, tweeting, and blogging (cough..). We're the LOOK AT ME generation. The thing I'm hoping to change is how often we look at OURSELVES and how DEEPLY we do it. So read this little section as a lead into a look at our personal lives.
Dutch Crowley was know as a "cop killer" who would "kill at the drop of a feather." One day he was necking a girl in a car and a policeman walked up to the parked car and said, "Let me see your license." Without saying a word, Crowley drew his gun and cut the policeman down with a shower of lead. Then he grabbed the officer's gun and shot him again. Crowley later wrote, "Under my heart is a weary heart, but a kind one - one that would do nobody any harm."
Crowley was sentenced to the electric chair. When he arrived at the death house in Sing Sing, did he say, "This is what I get for killing people?" No, he said, "This is what I get for defending myself." Crowley didn't blame himself for anything.
Now when I first read that in the book I thought how can someone really be that disillusioned with what kind of person they are. It blew my mind. Here was a guy that KILLED people and he thinks he's a gentle soul? The story continues with an interview with the Warden of Sing Sing prison. He goes on to say how every inmate in there (prison) thinks they're an alright guy that was just dealt a bad hand in life.
Ok, so think about this for a minute. These guys broke the law whether it was theft, assault, rape, or even murder, and they think they were just dealt a bad hand?! How insane is that? I know these are extreme cases, but think about your life and those around you. How many of us have that friend that claims to be anti-drama all the while surrounding themselves with all the 90210 soap opera drama they can find? Or the person that thinks they are a laid back go with the flow kind of person, while having an itinerary for every minute of their vacation? Now while those examples are more of self perception then accountability, they do set the tone for the misguided perception of their responsibility for their lives.
How many of us have had a "bad string of luck?" God knows I have. During the last 15 months of my "bad luck", I have wanted to blame so many of the outside factors completely for it. While admittedly outside factors do play a part, you can't downplay your role in your actions and your state of being. While initially I was going to give outside examples I figured that would be a perfect example of pointing at everyone but me. So I'm going to share a little known failure of mine. I have been embarrassed about this for years and keeping it quiet has kept me from facing it on a larger scale. The purpose of this blog today is to get you to look at your life and take responsibility for your problems. Why should I have to do anything less? So here is one of my biggest failures brought to light to prove to you my dedication to improving myself.
I had an excellent position with a group of guys I cared the world for. I was making good money, and enjoyed the people I worked with. The owners had been dangling a carrot in my face for almost 2yrs about a partnership with their newest club. The club was set to open shortly. Well, when the time came they offered it to someone else seemingly out of nowhere. I was deeply hurt and disappointed. I thought how could they do that to me? I had worked so hard for that opportunity! Shortly after that two coworkers approached me about opening a club with them and leaving where I was at. I got to talking with them and they filled me in to some of the things happening backstage with the owners. After hearing all that they had to say and adding to that my own hurt feelings over what I felt was a low blow move I decided I was in. When word got out to the owners that we had purchased a franchise they fired me. I was pissed! Mainly because they didn't fire the other two people! They owners blamed me for the whole thing. They tagged me as the "ring leader". They stated that something of this scale was beyond my coworkers experience and courage. The two coworkers never spoke up for me either. They let the owners think I had approached them. To top it off, several months later those two coworkers teamed up with a client from the club and opened two clubs of their own. Now the owners and I have reconciled to a somewhat shaky friendship, and I've never spoke to the other two people since. But I lost a tremendous opportunity and the owners ended up losing their three best producers. Not-to-mention all of our friendships were ruined.
Now, I could totally blame everyone involved. Hell, I even did for a long time afterward. I won't lie I even get irritated when I think about it today and that was over 3yrs ago. The one thing I have come to view differently with what happened was the role I played in it. I never had to take that risk and gamble. Had I communicated my hurt feelings to the owners I would have learned they were giving me a percentage in the next club. I would have learned why they decided to hold off on doing it till another club. I let my wounded pride get in my way and I made an impulsive decision based on it. I trusted two people that were in a position to lose a lot less then me. No matter what everyone's role in how things played out it was MY fault for making the initial decisions that set the ball rolling. I can't blame the owners for acting out of hurt feelings when they learned we were leaving them. I can't blame the coworkers for keeping their mouths shut after seeing what happened to me. They protected themselves by letting me take the blame, they kept their jobs and even got better pay. No one's actions were right in the whole fiasco, but I have to be accountable and take responsibility for my role in the part I played.
I've watched friends blame their jobs on everyone but themselves. I've watched relationships go down the drain, and of course it's all the other persons fault. I hear people (and I've said it myself) say "I can't win for losing." When really the reason we keep losing is because we fail to own up to our actions. No one wants to admit the reason their in a terrible relationship, or career is their fault. Mainly because if it's our own fault then we can't pass the buck. It also means that we're to blame for our misfortune, and misery. We also have to realize that it's up to us to make it better, not some lucky lotto ticket, or magic beans, or greener pastures, but us. So maybe it's time to start setting an example, and pull ourselves out of the mud. I know I want to show my son that even though his father makes mistakes, he OWNS up to them and does what needs to be done to correct them or better yet not repeat them.
If you're relationships are always ending the same way, maybe it's not the other people. Eventually you have to realize you're the common denominator in the equation. Don't be afraid to take a look at you and how you contributed to the downgrade of those relationships. If you have a failing business or it's struggling, maybe it's not the loser employees you hire and fire over and over. Maybe it's your inability to take the blame for making the same mistakes over and over. Take your EGO out of the equation. You are the only one making the decisions that rule your life and it's quality. I'd be a hypocrite to not point out that I am as guilty as the next, but I will say I try to not repeat the same mistakes. I'd rather fail in new and creative ways then to go down the roads I already know fail.
So my challenge to you the readers is to ask you to step back from your ego and pride for a little bit and take a look at a few aspects of your life. Think of a friendship that went south and examine your part in it. Look at the last relationship that ended badly. Look at a business decision that didn't pan out. Are these things fixable? If they are, how could the acknowledgment of your errors change it? If they aren't fixable, then how can your habits be changed so you don't repeat them in the next one? Think about this and the brave of you will move forward and try to mend bridges and make moves to improve your situations. Those few of you that willingly take accountability for your actions and your place in your life will work to fix it. When you start doing it you will undoubtedly find it hard, but remember that you will be moving towards a brighter spot in your life.
I will leave you with two short bits of advice that I have tried to use as basic philosophies in my life. My 8th grade social studies teacher used to tell us "he who trips over the same rock twice deserves to break his neck."
&
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
I wish you all luck on a journey that will be difficult, but rewarding. If this could mend even one friendship for you, improve your relationships, or even just make your workday better then I have accomplished what I set out to do.
Your feedback or stories are always welcome, and as always puppets DANCE!
Mr. J
"It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident, or time, or fortune, but just yourself that kept things from you." Lillian Hellman
Before I get started the first thing I would like to share with you is an excerpt from a book called How To Win Friends And Influence People. If you've never read it, go to half price books or get online and purchase it. It is a phenomenal book that will help change your perspective on life. Now the reason I am putting this in my blog is to show you that even with as self absorbed and self involved we are in society now, accountability has ALWAYS been an issue no matter what generation. It just seems to be a growing epidemic today as more people are facebooking, tweeting, and blogging (cough..). We're the LOOK AT ME generation. The thing I'm hoping to change is how often we look at OURSELVES and how DEEPLY we do it. So read this little section as a lead into a look at our personal lives.
Dutch Crowley was know as a "cop killer" who would "kill at the drop of a feather." One day he was necking a girl in a car and a policeman walked up to the parked car and said, "Let me see your license." Without saying a word, Crowley drew his gun and cut the policeman down with a shower of lead. Then he grabbed the officer's gun and shot him again. Crowley later wrote, "Under my heart is a weary heart, but a kind one - one that would do nobody any harm."
Crowley was sentenced to the electric chair. When he arrived at the death house in Sing Sing, did he say, "This is what I get for killing people?" No, he said, "This is what I get for defending myself." Crowley didn't blame himself for anything.
Now when I first read that in the book I thought how can someone really be that disillusioned with what kind of person they are. It blew my mind. Here was a guy that KILLED people and he thinks he's a gentle soul? The story continues with an interview with the Warden of Sing Sing prison. He goes on to say how every inmate in there (prison) thinks they're an alright guy that was just dealt a bad hand in life.
Ok, so think about this for a minute. These guys broke the law whether it was theft, assault, rape, or even murder, and they think they were just dealt a bad hand?! How insane is that? I know these are extreme cases, but think about your life and those around you. How many of us have that friend that claims to be anti-drama all the while surrounding themselves with all the 90210 soap opera drama they can find? Or the person that thinks they are a laid back go with the flow kind of person, while having an itinerary for every minute of their vacation? Now while those examples are more of self perception then accountability, they do set the tone for the misguided perception of their responsibility for their lives.
How many of us have had a "bad string of luck?" God knows I have. During the last 15 months of my "bad luck", I have wanted to blame so many of the outside factors completely for it. While admittedly outside factors do play a part, you can't downplay your role in your actions and your state of being. While initially I was going to give outside examples I figured that would be a perfect example of pointing at everyone but me. So I'm going to share a little known failure of mine. I have been embarrassed about this for years and keeping it quiet has kept me from facing it on a larger scale. The purpose of this blog today is to get you to look at your life and take responsibility for your problems. Why should I have to do anything less? So here is one of my biggest failures brought to light to prove to you my dedication to improving myself.
I had an excellent position with a group of guys I cared the world for. I was making good money, and enjoyed the people I worked with. The owners had been dangling a carrot in my face for almost 2yrs about a partnership with their newest club. The club was set to open shortly. Well, when the time came they offered it to someone else seemingly out of nowhere. I was deeply hurt and disappointed. I thought how could they do that to me? I had worked so hard for that opportunity! Shortly after that two coworkers approached me about opening a club with them and leaving where I was at. I got to talking with them and they filled me in to some of the things happening backstage with the owners. After hearing all that they had to say and adding to that my own hurt feelings over what I felt was a low blow move I decided I was in. When word got out to the owners that we had purchased a franchise they fired me. I was pissed! Mainly because they didn't fire the other two people! They owners blamed me for the whole thing. They tagged me as the "ring leader". They stated that something of this scale was beyond my coworkers experience and courage. The two coworkers never spoke up for me either. They let the owners think I had approached them. To top it off, several months later those two coworkers teamed up with a client from the club and opened two clubs of their own. Now the owners and I have reconciled to a somewhat shaky friendship, and I've never spoke to the other two people since. But I lost a tremendous opportunity and the owners ended up losing their three best producers. Not-to-mention all of our friendships were ruined.
Now, I could totally blame everyone involved. Hell, I even did for a long time afterward. I won't lie I even get irritated when I think about it today and that was over 3yrs ago. The one thing I have come to view differently with what happened was the role I played in it. I never had to take that risk and gamble. Had I communicated my hurt feelings to the owners I would have learned they were giving me a percentage in the next club. I would have learned why they decided to hold off on doing it till another club. I let my wounded pride get in my way and I made an impulsive decision based on it. I trusted two people that were in a position to lose a lot less then me. No matter what everyone's role in how things played out it was MY fault for making the initial decisions that set the ball rolling. I can't blame the owners for acting out of hurt feelings when they learned we were leaving them. I can't blame the coworkers for keeping their mouths shut after seeing what happened to me. They protected themselves by letting me take the blame, they kept their jobs and even got better pay. No one's actions were right in the whole fiasco, but I have to be accountable and take responsibility for my role in the part I played.
I've watched friends blame their jobs on everyone but themselves. I've watched relationships go down the drain, and of course it's all the other persons fault. I hear people (and I've said it myself) say "I can't win for losing." When really the reason we keep losing is because we fail to own up to our actions. No one wants to admit the reason their in a terrible relationship, or career is their fault. Mainly because if it's our own fault then we can't pass the buck. It also means that we're to blame for our misfortune, and misery. We also have to realize that it's up to us to make it better, not some lucky lotto ticket, or magic beans, or greener pastures, but us. So maybe it's time to start setting an example, and pull ourselves out of the mud. I know I want to show my son that even though his father makes mistakes, he OWNS up to them and does what needs to be done to correct them or better yet not repeat them.
If you're relationships are always ending the same way, maybe it's not the other people. Eventually you have to realize you're the common denominator in the equation. Don't be afraid to take a look at you and how you contributed to the downgrade of those relationships. If you have a failing business or it's struggling, maybe it's not the loser employees you hire and fire over and over. Maybe it's your inability to take the blame for making the same mistakes over and over. Take your EGO out of the equation. You are the only one making the decisions that rule your life and it's quality. I'd be a hypocrite to not point out that I am as guilty as the next, but I will say I try to not repeat the same mistakes. I'd rather fail in new and creative ways then to go down the roads I already know fail.
So my challenge to you the readers is to ask you to step back from your ego and pride for a little bit and take a look at a few aspects of your life. Think of a friendship that went south and examine your part in it. Look at the last relationship that ended badly. Look at a business decision that didn't pan out. Are these things fixable? If they are, how could the acknowledgment of your errors change it? If they aren't fixable, then how can your habits be changed so you don't repeat them in the next one? Think about this and the brave of you will move forward and try to mend bridges and make moves to improve your situations. Those few of you that willingly take accountability for your actions and your place in your life will work to fix it. When you start doing it you will undoubtedly find it hard, but remember that you will be moving towards a brighter spot in your life.
I will leave you with two short bits of advice that I have tried to use as basic philosophies in my life. My 8th grade social studies teacher used to tell us "he who trips over the same rock twice deserves to break his neck."
&
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
I wish you all luck on a journey that will be difficult, but rewarding. If this could mend even one friendship for you, improve your relationships, or even just make your workday better then I have accomplished what I set out to do.
Your feedback or stories are always welcome, and as always puppets DANCE!
Mr. J
"It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident, or time, or fortune, but just yourself that kept things from you." Lillian Hellman
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
It's not my fault.
This will be a two part blog on accountability and society. The first part will be an example of one of the biggest problem areas our country is suffering: obesity and exercise. The second part will be how accountability affects us in our lives (friends, career, relationships).
So as I sit here, I've been listening to two people and their completely different perspectives on life. I get to thinking about accountability and the complete lack of it in our society. I guess my first step would be to explain how those two people and their different views got my mind swirling with an assortment of observations. The first of which was the vastly different paths they were on. One is slipping further down a dangerous path that is threatening her health, and her relationships with people around her. The other, is feeling better then he has ever felt and is moving towards his goals at a rapid pace.
I feel one of the greatest faults of my generation (generation x) and the younger generations is the lack of taking a look internally to try and figure out why you are where you are. Whether that is for good or bad. All too often people want to look at their circumstances and blame everyone around them for it. Everyone,that is but themselves. This is something everyone at one point or another does, and for the most part that just makes us human. While I understand this of everyone, it's not the occasional offender that worries me, but more the perpetual offenders that make me cringe.
Let's take the 1st person I was talking about initially. Here is a woman that is 47yrs old 340 lbs. Just attended a diabetic classes this past month, in which initially she lost weight, but then she regained it by the end of class. She works 2nd shift at a hotel. She eats only twice a day. Starting with breakfast (Rice Krispies, toast, banana) then she eats nothing till she gets home from work (10-11pm). Then she has a Weight Watchers meal and some veggies. She claims she "doesn't have time to eat" while she's at work. Her blood sugars are still in the 200s! The biggest surprise is she's frustrated the scale's not moving! When asked about exercise programs she says she has no interest in wanting to exercise, and shows no motivation for it. She complains she suffers "knee problems."
I sit back and think WOW. She is too busy looking at all the things that she feels are to blame for her conditions instead of actually looking at how much SHE is to blame for them. Look, let's be honest here for a moment. This woman is at least 200lbs overweight! It's not like she was walking around one day, rounded the corner and 200lbs jumped on her. She EARNED this weight. She needs to accept that. She needs to realize SHE did this. Unfortunately she isn't doing that. Her work is to blame, her knees are to blame, her metabolism, her genetics. She's pointing fingers in every direction but at the person looking back at her in the mirror.
Now despite what this woman believes she is in fact NOT a special case. She is sadly a rather COMMON case. My best friend (a dietitian at a hospital) and myself get this all the time in our line of work. People are constantly lining up excuse after excuse as to why they can't eat & exercise. I plan on addressing many of those "reasons" in a future blog segment on fitness and nutrition. I will show you why those excuses are, to put it bluntly BS.
But I think the bigger problem here is the lack of responsibility by this woman to acknowledge how much of her situation is a direct result of her laziness and inability to make positive choices. She could choose to pack a protein bar or cook and prep her meals in advance. She could eat a real breakfast. She could get more calories in and not eat a prepackaged sodium filled mini meal for dinner. She could go for a walk, or eat a salad with lunch. Bottom line is she chooses to be fat and deconditioned. The saddest part is it's unlikely that she will ever look to herself as the cause of her problems. And let's face it folks, we as a whole don't want to do that. Look at every ad for about anything. We want simple, easy, quick, and most of all painless solutions to all our problems.
Here is the 2nd scenario and the difference of why he is succeeding where the 1st one is not. He weighs 362lbs and works in a correction facility. He has to eat at the cafeteria for money reasons. He works odd shifts. He is borderline diabetic, and only 30yrs old! This man initially came to me and told me he wanted to lose over a 100lbs because he was already having blood pressure and sodium problems. He said he didn't really need my help he just had a couple quick questions. He told me he had gotten a nutrition plan off the internet and was lifting with a friend that was experienced (it should be noted that his friend with "experience" is 5'6" 350+lbs at about 47% body fat, and took a lifting class once in high school 12yrs ago.)This is also a very common case I run into. So instead of trying to argue with this guy all I did was ask what all he was doing and what I could do to help him. I listened to him and I gently suggested some changes. I will give him credit, for what he lacked in education he made up for it by researching and trying to educate himself on everything I told him about. He also has decided that if he is going to do this he was going to stick to it. His discipline, despite flack from friends and family has been incredible. The flack he gets from friends and family is a perfect example of how people want to continue to believe it's not them that is at fault. They see him overcome and push through the boundaries and excuses that they use for themselves and it angers them. They get jealous and bitter because he is showing them and making them see that the excuses and illusions they cling to are just that, excuses and illusions. Unfortunately this is a common theme that people who choose to change have to deal with from people who are unaccountable and unwilling to change.
A true example of this is his friend that he originally started working out with.
His friend didn't want to even talk to me due to his "experience". He felt nothing had changed in over a decade in the field of exercise science. So rather then waste time on this person, I turned my attention back to the gentleman that was open to change and asked him more about the details of his workout plan. After listening to him I offered to take him through one of my workouts. He told me after the workout that he felt like someone had beat him up. He was amazed it only took us about 20min to complete the workout. He loved it and started to ask me more questions about exercise and food. He has continued to get help from me for a couple months now. He finally came to me today and told me that he realizes that "his way" was what had gotten him to almost 400lbs and obviously he didn't know how to get where he wanted. He said since changing his nutrition to what I suggested and doing my workouts vs. working out with his friend he had lost 25lbs to his friend's 5lbs. He went on to say he feels the best that he has ever felt in his life! He couldn't hardly believe it! He said he didn't even know he felt bad till he started to feel good!
Now that is really exciting to hear! He was taking responsibility for all the choices he made that put him in such a serious health risk. He also wasn't afraid to admit that those choices weren't working and it was time to make new ones. Not only did he realize it and accept it, but he actually took the steps to CHANGE it. It's times like this that are so rare for me. I love when I talk to someone that has finally pulled the curtain back to see a giant mirror, and that the wizard pulling the strings is them. I feel like there is hope that more will follow. See for every one good success story I hear there are 30 unsuccessful stories. Unfortunately the common factor in those unsuccessful stories is most often that person and their lack of responsibility for their role in the results they have produced (or not produced).
This guy that is losing weight and building steam as he rockets towards his goals is taking responsibility for his role. He didn't tell me why he COULDN'T eat right at work. No, he sat down with me and we figured out HOW he could eat right at work! The lady that's gaining weight and starving herself is only telling us all the reasons she CAN'T. It's not only that but because of her inability to try and figure out HOW she can save herself, she will continue to kill herself. Diabetes will eventually claim her life if a heart attack or stroke don't first. And sadly before she'll give up that bowl of Rice Krispies at breakfast for that bowl of oatmeal, she'll give you a list of reasons why she can't take the extra 45 seconds to microwave it. You have to wonder when they remove her foot if it will ever occur to her she could have possibly changed this outcome? But most likely she'll sit back and blame her genetics, or some company for not creating a better med for her condition.
Well, puppets, this concludes part one of my observation into society. Stay tuned for part two and how this may help save your relationships, be it with your spouse, coworker, or best friend. And as always DANCE!
Mr J
So as I sit here, I've been listening to two people and their completely different perspectives on life. I get to thinking about accountability and the complete lack of it in our society. I guess my first step would be to explain how those two people and their different views got my mind swirling with an assortment of observations. The first of which was the vastly different paths they were on. One is slipping further down a dangerous path that is threatening her health, and her relationships with people around her. The other, is feeling better then he has ever felt and is moving towards his goals at a rapid pace.
I feel one of the greatest faults of my generation (generation x) and the younger generations is the lack of taking a look internally to try and figure out why you are where you are. Whether that is for good or bad. All too often people want to look at their circumstances and blame everyone around them for it. Everyone,that is but themselves. This is something everyone at one point or another does, and for the most part that just makes us human. While I understand this of everyone, it's not the occasional offender that worries me, but more the perpetual offenders that make me cringe.
Let's take the 1st person I was talking about initially. Here is a woman that is 47yrs old 340 lbs. Just attended a diabetic classes this past month, in which initially she lost weight, but then she regained it by the end of class. She works 2nd shift at a hotel. She eats only twice a day. Starting with breakfast (Rice Krispies, toast, banana) then she eats nothing till she gets home from work (10-11pm). Then she has a Weight Watchers meal and some veggies. She claims she "doesn't have time to eat" while she's at work. Her blood sugars are still in the 200s! The biggest surprise is she's frustrated the scale's not moving! When asked about exercise programs she says she has no interest in wanting to exercise, and shows no motivation for it. She complains she suffers "knee problems."
I sit back and think WOW. She is too busy looking at all the things that she feels are to blame for her conditions instead of actually looking at how much SHE is to blame for them. Look, let's be honest here for a moment. This woman is at least 200lbs overweight! It's not like she was walking around one day, rounded the corner and 200lbs jumped on her. She EARNED this weight. She needs to accept that. She needs to realize SHE did this. Unfortunately she isn't doing that. Her work is to blame, her knees are to blame, her metabolism, her genetics. She's pointing fingers in every direction but at the person looking back at her in the mirror.
Now despite what this woman believes she is in fact NOT a special case. She is sadly a rather COMMON case. My best friend (a dietitian at a hospital) and myself get this all the time in our line of work. People are constantly lining up excuse after excuse as to why they can't eat & exercise. I plan on addressing many of those "reasons" in a future blog segment on fitness and nutrition. I will show you why those excuses are, to put it bluntly BS.
But I think the bigger problem here is the lack of responsibility by this woman to acknowledge how much of her situation is a direct result of her laziness and inability to make positive choices. She could choose to pack a protein bar or cook and prep her meals in advance. She could eat a real breakfast. She could get more calories in and not eat a prepackaged sodium filled mini meal for dinner. She could go for a walk, or eat a salad with lunch. Bottom line is she chooses to be fat and deconditioned. The saddest part is it's unlikely that she will ever look to herself as the cause of her problems. And let's face it folks, we as a whole don't want to do that. Look at every ad for about anything. We want simple, easy, quick, and most of all painless solutions to all our problems.
Here is the 2nd scenario and the difference of why he is succeeding where the 1st one is not. He weighs 362lbs and works in a correction facility. He has to eat at the cafeteria for money reasons. He works odd shifts. He is borderline diabetic, and only 30yrs old! This man initially came to me and told me he wanted to lose over a 100lbs because he was already having blood pressure and sodium problems. He said he didn't really need my help he just had a couple quick questions. He told me he had gotten a nutrition plan off the internet and was lifting with a friend that was experienced (it should be noted that his friend with "experience" is 5'6" 350+lbs at about 47% body fat, and took a lifting class once in high school 12yrs ago.)This is also a very common case I run into. So instead of trying to argue with this guy all I did was ask what all he was doing and what I could do to help him. I listened to him and I gently suggested some changes. I will give him credit, for what he lacked in education he made up for it by researching and trying to educate himself on everything I told him about. He also has decided that if he is going to do this he was going to stick to it. His discipline, despite flack from friends and family has been incredible. The flack he gets from friends and family is a perfect example of how people want to continue to believe it's not them that is at fault. They see him overcome and push through the boundaries and excuses that they use for themselves and it angers them. They get jealous and bitter because he is showing them and making them see that the excuses and illusions they cling to are just that, excuses and illusions. Unfortunately this is a common theme that people who choose to change have to deal with from people who are unaccountable and unwilling to change.
A true example of this is his friend that he originally started working out with.
His friend didn't want to even talk to me due to his "experience". He felt nothing had changed in over a decade in the field of exercise science. So rather then waste time on this person, I turned my attention back to the gentleman that was open to change and asked him more about the details of his workout plan. After listening to him I offered to take him through one of my workouts. He told me after the workout that he felt like someone had beat him up. He was amazed it only took us about 20min to complete the workout. He loved it and started to ask me more questions about exercise and food. He has continued to get help from me for a couple months now. He finally came to me today and told me that he realizes that "his way" was what had gotten him to almost 400lbs and obviously he didn't know how to get where he wanted. He said since changing his nutrition to what I suggested and doing my workouts vs. working out with his friend he had lost 25lbs to his friend's 5lbs. He went on to say he feels the best that he has ever felt in his life! He couldn't hardly believe it! He said he didn't even know he felt bad till he started to feel good!
Now that is really exciting to hear! He was taking responsibility for all the choices he made that put him in such a serious health risk. He also wasn't afraid to admit that those choices weren't working and it was time to make new ones. Not only did he realize it and accept it, but he actually took the steps to CHANGE it. It's times like this that are so rare for me. I love when I talk to someone that has finally pulled the curtain back to see a giant mirror, and that the wizard pulling the strings is them. I feel like there is hope that more will follow. See for every one good success story I hear there are 30 unsuccessful stories. Unfortunately the common factor in those unsuccessful stories is most often that person and their lack of responsibility for their role in the results they have produced (or not produced).
This guy that is losing weight and building steam as he rockets towards his goals is taking responsibility for his role. He didn't tell me why he COULDN'T eat right at work. No, he sat down with me and we figured out HOW he could eat right at work! The lady that's gaining weight and starving herself is only telling us all the reasons she CAN'T. It's not only that but because of her inability to try and figure out HOW she can save herself, she will continue to kill herself. Diabetes will eventually claim her life if a heart attack or stroke don't first. And sadly before she'll give up that bowl of Rice Krispies at breakfast for that bowl of oatmeal, she'll give you a list of reasons why she can't take the extra 45 seconds to microwave it. You have to wonder when they remove her foot if it will ever occur to her she could have possibly changed this outcome? But most likely she'll sit back and blame her genetics, or some company for not creating a better med for her condition.
Well, puppets, this concludes part one of my observation into society. Stay tuned for part two and how this may help save your relationships, be it with your spouse, coworker, or best friend. And as always DANCE!
Mr J
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
A glimmer of hope
I was watching TV late last night and I seen a commercial that gave me some hope that maybe this country is letting go of some of the PC that has gripped it for the last 15yrs or so.
I remember watching Super Size Me (if you haven't seen it go get it and watch) and in one segment there was a man talking about how we treat smokers today. He was saying that we've come to the point where if someone smokes we will call them out on it and actually raise a stink about it. We complain of the smell, tell them of the health risks, ask them if they're stupid, in other words we don't hold back. The current passing of many smoking bans has shown that we will not back off on the prosecution of public smoking. Anyways, he went on to speculate how long it would be till we did this with obese people with fast food and unhealthy lifestyles. I found that to be really insightful, in the fact many times a day I hear people complain about their bodies and their weight and then watch them go across (or come from across) the parking lot (there is a McDonalds there), not to mention the McD's bags or cups in the trash around the health club I manage. I got to thinking what if people gave obese people as much of a hard time about eating thier Big Macs as they did smokers for lighting up that cigarette? Think about how that would fly with people. Now the whole point of mentioning all that was to bring you back to the commercial that gave me some hope that this could eventually come about.
So I'm watching TV and this commercial comes on and it is showing all these healthy THIN kids out being active (rollerblading, playing soccer, running around) all in bright vibrant colors (picture lots of reds, yellows and blues) smiling, laughing. Then it goes to a black and white screen with a slightly chunky kid sitting on the couch looking sloppy eating potato chips. Now I didn't have the volume up high enough to hear what the commercial was about, but I was beginning to wonder what they were marketing. Then out of nowhere BOOM! It's a Sunny D commercial.. and I was thinking two things at this point: 1. good for you for not conceding to the growing number of obese children by being afraid to show fit healthy kids in your commercial. 2. kind of ironic that the commercial promoting a healthy lifestyle is from a company that makes a somewhat fake juice that has 130kcal and 30g of sugar PER serving.. but it was good to see someone man up and call attention to a very growing concern with children today.
I think this is an encouraging sign. I hope other companies step up and start showing more of what should be instead of worrying so much about promoting self esteem (a whole other blog subject). Children AND adults need to see something that shows bad habits and poor physicality in a bad light. It's a double edge sword we try and live on these days. We want people to feel comfortable with themselves (career, bodies, lifestyles, orientations) which is good. People SHOULD feel comfortable with all these things no doubt. But on the other side there is the fact that people HAVE become comfortable with this and its now becoming a crutch that society holds on to in order to justify their current state of health. I mean seriously when was the last time you looked around anywhere (grocery store, ball games, anywhere there are people) and seen even 10 healthy and fit people? And now we've come to a point of almost reverse discrimination against healthy people.
Now don't check out on me yet, let me explain. I have worked in offices or been out with people or at meetings and have been given a hard time about eating healthy or not having dessert or for eating multiple times a day. I also get the stereotype that because I eat healthy that I never eat anything "good". "Good" of course means BAD. "Good" is things like ice cream, doughnuts, candy bars, fast food, and on and on. I also get the "I like my food to have flavor and taste good." Yeah? So what, I like my food to be cardboard? It's this stereotype coupled with the "well, I don't want to spend all my free time working out." Neither do I. In fact I try to spend no more time in the club then necessary to complete my workout (generally 20 minutes or so). What they don't get is because I don't want to spend all my time in a gym and I do want to occasionally enjoy a Taco Bell Chicken Quesadilla that that is the reason I eat healthy food more CONSISTENTLY and team that up with a few days a week working out (which total ends up to spending less time then watching your favorite sitcom).
Most healthy people aren't obsessively working out and being self imposed Nutrition Nazis. In fact you'd be surprised at how little effort is required for maintenance once you get to a healthy body type. Things become routine, and not in a bad way. Sometimes routine means less thought needed, less effort planning, less time figuring out what to do. Most of the excuses people use to avoid living a healthy lifestyle go away once they put forth a little effort and try. Of course as your waistline shrinks its gets easier to stay motivated absolutely. But if you ran a company you wouldn't wait to develop a quality product until you had orders for it would you? No. You would develop a quality product so it will sell itself. It's the same thing in developing the body you want. You don't half-ass eating right and working out then if you get results you get serious? That's backwards. You should dive in! Don't be afraid to put the effort in and start big and all out. Why MAYBE get results and hit goals when you could ENSURE you would? All that "easing into it" does for the most part is give people the room for failure and the "out" they are looking for.
Well, there is your food for thought for the day kiddies..
As always DANCE!
Mr. J
I remember watching Super Size Me (if you haven't seen it go get it and watch) and in one segment there was a man talking about how we treat smokers today. He was saying that we've come to the point where if someone smokes we will call them out on it and actually raise a stink about it. We complain of the smell, tell them of the health risks, ask them if they're stupid, in other words we don't hold back. The current passing of many smoking bans has shown that we will not back off on the prosecution of public smoking. Anyways, he went on to speculate how long it would be till we did this with obese people with fast food and unhealthy lifestyles. I found that to be really insightful, in the fact many times a day I hear people complain about their bodies and their weight and then watch them go across (or come from across) the parking lot (there is a McDonalds there), not to mention the McD's bags or cups in the trash around the health club I manage. I got to thinking what if people gave obese people as much of a hard time about eating thier Big Macs as they did smokers for lighting up that cigarette? Think about how that would fly with people. Now the whole point of mentioning all that was to bring you back to the commercial that gave me some hope that this could eventually come about.
So I'm watching TV and this commercial comes on and it is showing all these healthy THIN kids out being active (rollerblading, playing soccer, running around) all in bright vibrant colors (picture lots of reds, yellows and blues) smiling, laughing. Then it goes to a black and white screen with a slightly chunky kid sitting on the couch looking sloppy eating potato chips. Now I didn't have the volume up high enough to hear what the commercial was about, but I was beginning to wonder what they were marketing. Then out of nowhere BOOM! It's a Sunny D commercial.. and I was thinking two things at this point: 1. good for you for not conceding to the growing number of obese children by being afraid to show fit healthy kids in your commercial. 2. kind of ironic that the commercial promoting a healthy lifestyle is from a company that makes a somewhat fake juice that has 130kcal and 30g of sugar PER serving.. but it was good to see someone man up and call attention to a very growing concern with children today.
I think this is an encouraging sign. I hope other companies step up and start showing more of what should be instead of worrying so much about promoting self esteem (a whole other blog subject). Children AND adults need to see something that shows bad habits and poor physicality in a bad light. It's a double edge sword we try and live on these days. We want people to feel comfortable with themselves (career, bodies, lifestyles, orientations) which is good. People SHOULD feel comfortable with all these things no doubt. But on the other side there is the fact that people HAVE become comfortable with this and its now becoming a crutch that society holds on to in order to justify their current state of health. I mean seriously when was the last time you looked around anywhere (grocery store, ball games, anywhere there are people) and seen even 10 healthy and fit people? And now we've come to a point of almost reverse discrimination against healthy people.
Now don't check out on me yet, let me explain. I have worked in offices or been out with people or at meetings and have been given a hard time about eating healthy or not having dessert or for eating multiple times a day. I also get the stereotype that because I eat healthy that I never eat anything "good". "Good" of course means BAD. "Good" is things like ice cream, doughnuts, candy bars, fast food, and on and on. I also get the "I like my food to have flavor and taste good." Yeah? So what, I like my food to be cardboard? It's this stereotype coupled with the "well, I don't want to spend all my free time working out." Neither do I. In fact I try to spend no more time in the club then necessary to complete my workout (generally 20 minutes or so). What they don't get is because I don't want to spend all my time in a gym and I do want to occasionally enjoy a Taco Bell Chicken Quesadilla that that is the reason I eat healthy food more CONSISTENTLY and team that up with a few days a week working out (which total ends up to spending less time then watching your favorite sitcom).
Most healthy people aren't obsessively working out and being self imposed Nutrition Nazis. In fact you'd be surprised at how little effort is required for maintenance once you get to a healthy body type. Things become routine, and not in a bad way. Sometimes routine means less thought needed, less effort planning, less time figuring out what to do. Most of the excuses people use to avoid living a healthy lifestyle go away once they put forth a little effort and try. Of course as your waistline shrinks its gets easier to stay motivated absolutely. But if you ran a company you wouldn't wait to develop a quality product until you had orders for it would you? No. You would develop a quality product so it will sell itself. It's the same thing in developing the body you want. You don't half-ass eating right and working out then if you get results you get serious? That's backwards. You should dive in! Don't be afraid to put the effort in and start big and all out. Why MAYBE get results and hit goals when you could ENSURE you would? All that "easing into it" does for the most part is give people the room for failure and the "out" they are looking for.
Well, there is your food for thought for the day kiddies..
As always DANCE!
Mr. J
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