Child Obesity or Child Abuse?

*I understand this will be a sensitive subject and will most likely upset a portion of my readers. That being said, the time to start looking at this area has long since past and something has to change. All I ask of you as a fellow parent is that you read the whole thing before allowing your natural defensive nature to over ride what is being said*

Recently I was at home relaxing one night when I get a text from my cousin.

"Guess what my sis got to eat."

I'm not going to lie, my first reaction was to roll my eyes then exhale as I worried about what I was going to read. It was worse then I expected.

"A Big Mac Value Meal!"

It was then I thought I might explode!

I guess I should explain. The girl we're talking about is 10 years old and 106lb! I have sat back for years now and bit my tongue on my little cousin and her health. Now don't get me wrong. I know it's not HER fault. She's a child. She has no choices about the food she's given. I'm also sure if you asked her mom about her weight she would tell you she isn't that bad off. This is part of the problem. I read a study published last month on childhood obesity and the parents perceptions of their child's weight.

Here is the link to the article. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37838149/

Here is what was found in the study.

Most parents don't realize if their preschool-age child is overweight or obese, a new study suggests.

The results show 71 percent of participating parents with overweight or obese toddlers misperceived their child's weight, identifying it as either a healthy weight or lighter than healthy weight.

Did you catch that last part? LIGHTER THAN HEALTHY WEIGHT!!!! Compared to what? A baby calf? It went on to say they even had pictures of body types and asked the parents to circle the one closest to their child's.

20 percent of parents with overweight or obese kids actually chose an image that was smaller than the healthy weight image to indicate their own child's size.

That means 1 in 5 parents of obese children feel that their child is smaller than a normal weight child! This ties into my little cousin and her mom's misconceptions. The child is fat because of her PARENTS! It is THEIR fault! Their lack of responsibility, and neglect of their child's well being is the reason she is severely obese for her age. It is also why her health is in serious need of attention.

I'm sure some of you are going "what's big deal, she had a Big Mac Meal?" Let me put it in perspective for you. At 10 years old her DAILY calorie intake should be right around 1600 calories a day. Her Big Mac Meal eaten at almost 10pm at night was 1440 calories (60g of Fat and 95g of sugar!). That would be 90% of her DAILY calories in ONE meal! The study went on to show.

Obese children and adolescents are more likely to become obese as adults. For example, one study found that approximately 80% of children who were overweight at aged 10–15 years were obese adults at age 25 years.The study also found that if overweight begins before 8 years of age, obesity in adulthood is likely to be more severe.

This is very scary for my little cousin since she has been obese/overweight since about 5 years old. And she's not alone in her desperate state. This is a growing concern for our nation. It blows my mind how few athletic and fit kids you can find. I look at these overweight to obese kids and fast forward their lives 10 years and I see the same fat people I see circling the McDonald's drive thru by my club everyday. And herein lies the problem, we've come to accept fat. It's ok to be fat. God forbid we hold ourselves to healthy standards. Don't be pressured to fit the status quo and be thin. Eat that Big Mac meal and pretend only health nut freaks are thin. Blame your genetics, your job, do whatever it takes to convince yourself to take no responsibility for where YOUR health is. That's fine, but when it comes to your children this doesn't fly. They are KIDS. YOU are in charge. They eat what YOU feed them. They're as active as YOU make them.

The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:

1)Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation;

2)physical or psychological mistreatment of a child by its parents, guardians, or other adults.

3)the physical or emotional mistreatment of children

Looking at those definitions of child abuse, I have to believe that child obesity is a form of child abuse. The physical harm and health risks that are induced NOT-TO-MENTION the psychological damage imposed on that child warrant attention and possibly counseling and supervision.

Just because you aren't an alcoholic parent smacking your child around doesn't mean that you aren't abusing or neglecting your child. I'm not trying to say parents are maliciously and intentionally abusing their children, but look at the other end of the spectrum. If a child was malnourished, ignorance wouldn't save that parent from being considered negligent. So when you are enabling your child to develop terrible lifestyle habits you're failing to step up and take control of your child's health. By not laying down healthy choices and options for them, how is it really that much different? The biggest difference I can see is only in the perceived immediate harm. Physical abuse is less seen and considered more severe, but obesity is like diabetes, it is damaging and deadly. The reason it isn't thought of in the dangerous nature that it is stems mainly from the fact it's so rampant and widespread. The majority of the population is at minimum overweight, and I'm sure everyone of you know at least 5 people with Type II Diabetes. If your child is going to be diabetic by 15, or by 18 have at least 1-2 heart risk warning signs, how are you not abusing your child or failing as a parent to protect your child and their well being? Isn't that the job of a parent? To make sure that your child is endowed with the best opportunities for a healthy and successful adulthood. Or at least a traumatic free childhood? And yes being fat as a child or teenager is traumatic.

Studies have shown:

Psychosocial Risks

Some consequences of childhood and adolescent obesity are psychosocial. Obese children and adolescents are targets of early and systematic social discrimination. The psychological stress of social stigmatization can cause low self-esteem which, in turn, can hinder academic and social functioning, and persist into adulthood.

How does that not reach the definition of abuse? 3)the physical or emotional mistreatment of children

And if you're one of those parents thinking my kid will just grow out of it when they get to high school and grow taller think again! The study went on to address that issue as well.

"The concept that kids outgrow their weight at some point or another, may have been true maybe 10 or 15 years ago, but more and more we're seeing that once the kid falls into that category, it really tends to be predictive long term," she said. Modern-day tendencies toward less exercise and an overabundance of food might be the culprit behind this shift, she said.

This isn't about assigning blame. It's about realizing the damage that is being done and taking the responsibility to change it. I'm sure you love your children as much as I love my son. It's because I love my son so much that I want the best for him. That means as his parent it's my job to take charge and step up even if that means sacrificing some of my T.V. time, or getting up a little earlier so I can make him breakfast. As parents our lives took a back seat the minute our children were born. We're supposed to teach our children right from wrong, how to manage their money, treat friends and loved ones. So why would teaching them to take care of themselves not be towards the top of life's lessons?

I leave you with this to ponder. What was dinner and play time like when you were a child? I know for me it was go outside and play till I call you to eat, and we had to eat what was cooked for us or go hungry. I don't know what your childhood was like, but I'm sure it was something similar. So puppets hopefully I still have a parent reading base after this, so let's dance to that!


Finally just a little tid bit for you. Upon gathering information for this article I entered my little cousins information into the government food pyramid site, this is the warning that came up with it.

The weight you entered is higher than may be healthy for your age and height. Ask a health care provider about your weight. They may ask about the foods you eat, your level of physical activity, and your family history. They can also determine your rate of growth and check for other health problems.

Laying Down The Gauntlet: Your chance to rise up.

*Disclaimer* This blog will be riddled with and full of testosterone and pure alpha mentality. There will be harsh language and a kick you in your pants get a move on theme! Enjoy, embrace, and do something after reading it!


I realized while writing the goal setting series that it would drive home the point and motivate people to act now on their goals if they had a challenge to push them. I have spent many nights thinking of what great, ultimate challenge I could put forth for you all. I've decided that I can't want it for you. It will be up to you to read this and take action.

I, along with several of my friends had a realization two weeks ago. It was after we had competed in the Warrior Dash (www.warriordash.com) in Joliet, IL. I remembered something that I had forgotten about myself. I love the feeling of pure physical exertion and being challenged! Now don't get me wrong. I know I love competing, I just forgot how great it felt to do it! I wasn't the only one. There were a few of us that had been sitting in a holding pattern the last several months. None of us really had any specific goals outside of completing this race. We had signed up for it in February and basically all went into it with a "hey, let's just finish it and worry about next year" attitude. Boy, let me tell you how off base we were!

The feeling of conquering this course and finishing it alive and strong was incredible! Fire, mud, barbed wire, hills from hell 500 people in our heat alone! What an experience! And even though it was an individual thing, having a group of 7 do it really drove a sense of being a team into us. It lit a fire into almost every one of us since we've gotten back. People in our group are signing up to do fitness shows, 5k trail runs, making goals to see their bodies completely reshaped. We are all laying out new goals and possess a focus that has been missing from us for months! All because of a race that gave us a small glimpse deep down about ourselves when we're being physically and mentally tested. The gratification of looking around seeing everyone covered from head to toe (literally) in mud, looking worn out and beat down, all the while grinning ear to ear was euphoric. This is a race where you finish they give you a viking helmet, a free beer and you can get a huge turkey leg to eat with your mud covered hands! It was then I realized this is life! Not punching a time clock at the factory or going through the monotony of grocery shopping, or washing your laundry. It was a primal throwback to our childhood where you went playing in the woods and climbed things and came home scrapped and cut up. It was like a cold water wake up! I remember watching Fight Club and Brad Pitt's character is looking at the group as it's been growing and tells them what he sees.

Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

It's SO TRUE! What are we doing with our lives that means anything! If you were to die tomorrow (I know it's a morbid thought but stay with me) how would you feel about your life? What would you wish you'd have done? This is it right now your chance to earn your moment of Zen, the "you're effing right I did all that!" moment.

Tyler Durden: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis.

Who are you? Better yet who do you want to be? Are you over mediocrity yet? This could be the start of the rest of your life if you have the balls to do it. Ladies I'm not just talking to the men. No Y chromosome needed here to dig deep and live. If you've wanted to mountain climb in Colorado, or swim with sharks in California, or hell just once tell that person who keeps walking all over you to take a flying leap off a cliff, you're not their doormat anymore! Then start planning to do it. Write it down. Price it on a website, set your budget for it, get in their face and stand up! No one is holding you back but you.

Don't be defined by your job title, who your friends think you are, who YOU think you are, your role as a mother or father, husband or wife. Step up to the plate and take a giant swing at the fence! Are you sick of your rut, your stand still life enough to say "to hell with what everyone thinks?" Who cares if someone thinks skydiving is crazy and risky? That your investment into a race or show that would set you apart from the hindu cows that will never have the guts to do it, is a waste of money? Who cares! Bottom line comes down to this: you're born alone you sure as hell die alone, what are you going to have done in between?

The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile. ~Plato

Your homework puppets is to evaluate your goals and your life and figure out what the hell is going to come from your new found fire and energy! What have you done today to set yourself apart from the herd?

Well, I'm off to rent fight club and kill a bear with my bare hands! As always dance around a big bonfire with your friends!



Mr J

The Mirror Test: Step 1 in the goal setting process

This is the 1st step in a mini-series of blogs on goal setting so you can get started on moving towards the things you want! If you apply these steps I promise you will not only be able to feel confident you can set powerful goals, but you will know how to go about it in a way that will help make them happen. This is focused on the fitness side of life, but the steps are applicable to ALL aspects of life.

It's official! Summer has started to poke it's head out, and the thoughts of skimping down to minimum clothing are starting to creep in. I've got to ask, are you ready? The reason I ask is I want to see how many of you are excited to bust out that bikini or rip your shirt off at the pool this year! On the other hand how many of you will be shying away from the water activities or your summer shorts and tanks? How many summers of holding back in a row will this make for you? Are you annoyed, ashamed, or frustrated enough to change it this year? If you're ready to to do it this is your first step in getting that confident, slimmer body you have been daydreaming about.

You see it on magazine covers, infomercials, and fitness ads all the time "build your best body now." I, like I'm sure many of you, just pass over that without giving it a thought. After a weekend in the sun, and basking my white body to the world it's got me thinking. The question that I'm pondering is, what is YOUR best body?

Guys do you think of your best body as a ripped up Arnold in his prime? Built like a Terminator barely containing your muscles with your puny clothing? Or do you think of it more like Ryan Reynolds in Blade: Trinity so lean he looks like an anatomy picture with skin pulled tight over it?

Ladies is yours a skinny mini, long and lanky build like Gisele Bundchen with her Victoria Secret body? Or is it a shredded out Demi Moore in G.I. Jane with her awesome shoulders and arms cut out? Rip out like that and women would worry if they should even glance at your man for fear what you might do to them.

What I'm posing today to all of you out there is for you to sit for a minute and actually think about what you feel YOUR best body could be. I mean get in front of the mirror strip down naked (even those of you that hate naked) and take 3,5,10 minutes and look over yourself. Don't be afraid to be critical, or even honest with yourself. If you're carrying more body fat right now try to visualize a scalpel cutting all that extra fat off to reveal what is hidden underneath. If you're thin image what you can do with your frame. Could you pack some muscle on and look solid? Or lean out to your smallest size since your first kid popped out? Men, what about eliminating the summer of the potbelly? Regardless of where you are at the biggest factor in this exercise is for you to think about YOUR body, and what it COULD be.

When people set goals they tend to look at other people for what they want to look like. The thing I try to suggest is look around to what you would want, then look at you and think what can I accomplish? Most of the people I deal with on a day-to-day basis have never been fit, or it has been so long since they were fit they don't remember that body. Take a second and think back to when you were at what you felt was your best to date. How did that body feel, move, look? Go ahead take a minute and reminisce. I know when I think back to my best body, I almost forget how great it felt. I look back now and think about how much I miss putting on any fitted clothes and not worrying if it looked like I was hiding a small inner tube under my shirt. I miss looking in the mirror and seeing my six pack smiling back at me (or maybe it was my smile for seeing my abs?)Regardless, it has been awhile since I could look at myself and say I like what I see. How about you? When was the last time you looked in the mirror and thought "hot damn! I look good!" Have you EVER been able to do that?

If you've never been able to say that then this is going to be a bit harder of an exercise for all of you that have NEVER really been fit. That doesn't mean there wasn't a time looking back that you didn't feel good about yourself and your body. This is why this step is about YOU and your ideas. When I sit down with a lot of people they immediately assume what I expect them to look like or what I'm going to do to their bodies. They come in with a preconceived notion of a cookie cutter fitness world that I'm going to try and cut them out of. I'm often met (by men and women alike) with "I don't want to add any muscle, or bulk up." Or "I'm not expecting to look like I did when I was young." When I hear people say these statements three things run through my head: 1) You have no clue what you're talking about. 2) How do you know what I'm going to do with you? 3) How do you know what you can achieve if you've never done it before?

First off, lifting weights is not limited to bodybuilders, models, athletes, men, or young people. It is beneficial for ALL people. Lifting weights does not equate to "bulking up". People often tell me they don't want to add any muscle they just want to "tone up". They don't realize that "toning up" and adding muscle are practically one in the same. Second of all, don't assume what is possible. Just because you've never been a size 6 doesn't mean it's an impossible goal. Here is a quote that I want you to not only read, but let it sink in and really think about how it could apply to you in the way of setting your goals.

"It's never too late to be what you might have been" George Eliot

Here is your homework for the weekend those of you that are ready to bust out the new you! Take the mirror test. Stand in front of that mirror and see the finished product! Step 2 will be posted Monday folks, and it won't be useful to you if you haven't done step 1. I tell my clients we can't plan anything if we don't know where we're starting from. So this weekend's assignment is just that, finding your starting place. Stay tuned for step 2. Now DANCE puppets DANCE!


Mr. J